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Some things should just be obvious.
Coffee cup contents are hot.
Sleeping pills may cause drowsiness.
People with peanut allergies shouldn’t open a bag or jar with the word “peanut” on it.
Microwave ovens aren’t designed to dry wet pets.
Silly Putty shouldn’t be used as ear plugs.
Unfortunately, what’s obvious to most, passes right by the VOMOS club (and we’ve all had a membership card in that one at some time).
And before you think somebody’s nuts for stating the obvious, remember, this is America. We sue people here. Shamelessly. Once they dislodge the pointed fence from our colon.
Somewhere up in heaven, Aunt Ruth is probably hooting. I know she would be if she were still around here.
Aunt Ruth (who was neither my aunt, nor was she named “Ruth”) used to love to catch preachers with their foot in their mouth; it was something of a hobby to her. Nothing could penetrate her sometimes-sharp exterior and produce uncontrollable laughter like hearing that a prim and proper “man of God” had just said something stupid. And she was cruel with it! One little snafu from you-know-who, and I’d hear about it for weeks. And between guffaws, as she would gasp for air, she’d always sound the same warning. If I spelled it the way she said it, it would read like this:
“You gotta watch them woids!”
Rather than get offended, I played along. We often entertained each other with stories we’d heard of other preachers. Like the time a preacher friend of mine said three times in a sermon, “I’m praying that God would make our church a cesspool of His love! A cesspool of His grace! A cesspool of his power!”
He was thinking artesian well. But that’s not what his folks were smelling at the moment.
Challenging times call for fresh, intelligent ideas!
You won’t find any here.
What you will find is the latest collection of Hanukkah Hams – episodes of brilliance on the Blooper Reel of Life.
The last edition focused on life behind the wheel. This one’s dedicated to power. Electric power. Human power. Kangaroo Power. Hang on, there’s something for everybody.
Starting with this clever photographed solution to every man’s summertime dilemma – how to get your George Foreman Grill to work inside your above-ground swimming pool. God forbid you have to actually step over the three-foot side and cook your burger on dry land. Where’s the challenge in that?
Nobody gets anywhere without ideas. And nobody gets it right 100% of the time. So sometimes we take risks, try things, and hindsight tells us we were geniuses. Sometimes, things just don’t work. But sometimes we score a Hanukkah Ham - one of those choice decisions that qualify us for the Blooper Reel of Life.
This edition of Hanukkah Hams is devoted to life behind the wheel – the things you see, the things you say, and the things you do. Yeah, we’ve all been there. And it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A couple of weeks ago I got to my local teaching assignment at Wayland Baptist University a bit early, and proud to get a close parking place. Just before class was to start, one of the staff members comes in saying he couldn’t find the owner of “that truck.”
Seth Godin shared this head-turning picture taken at a market in Greenwich Village. Here’s an idea sure to get somebody a promotion – Hanukkah ham! Seth’s comment: “Sometimes a little knowledge isn’t such a good thing.”
Where would we be without ideas? And where would the good ideas be without a few Hanukkah hams thrown in for good measure? Pets.com, New Coke, Volkswagon’s “Thing” and ketchup-flavored potato chips come to mind. Seemed like good ideas to somebody at the time.
Years ago Mad Magazine did a list of ad slogans that never quite made it to TV. Things like: [click to continue…]
