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It was one of those eye-opening days, I guess. Back to school time for me. I was living north of Dallas, and still involved in youth ministry. I taught a Monday night Bible Study that served as the centerpiece of the ministry, and on this particular night I passed out blank paper with a special request: List, in order, the five things it would take to make you perfectly happy.
How would you answer that?
I really thought I knew what the answers would be – a lot of selfish stuff like cars, a driver’s license, money, or popularity. But what I heard taught me a lesson I’ll never forget. Here are some of their actual answers: [click to continue…]
(Something of a “life lessons year in review,” in no certain order. I’d love to hear yours. Feel free to add your own in the comments section.)
1. How awesome your cancer surgeon is.
2. How nice people can be, even when you wish they would just hate you.
3. How God provides, even sometimes for fools.
4. The sun really does come out tomorrow.
5. How to spell “aneurysm.”
6. Life goes on, with you or without you.
7. Contrary to the words to the MASH theme, suicide is NOT painless.
8. Failure doesn’t stop people from loving you.
9. Rejection does not come with a cocoon to wrap you away for a while.
10. Nobody is more committed to your success than you are. [click to continue…]
Can we talk about The Elephant in the Room?
Most of the time we use the phrase to describe the unspoken but obvious thing between two or more people that no one is talking about. There’s a different elephant, however, that I want to explore.
It’s the one in your head.
I don’t know what yours is doing, but the elephant my head likes to dance. Badly.
The Elephant in Your Head is the one or two things that appear in every mental photo. The two or three things that interrupt – albeit silently – any patterns of forward thinking.
What do you do when you’re the elephant in the room? [click to continue…]
(The 12 Ways of Christmas, Part 11 – The Way of Connection)
“I have connecting gate information here!”
Amber Amari knew something about making connections. And no place connected more people and destinations than Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.
“Dallas/Ft Worth? A33. Richmond? Gate B10.”
Amber had the printout for Delta Flight 2943, inbound from Newark, as she stood at Gate A5. But she hardly had to refer to it. She had a remarkable gift for remembering the complex array of gates, times, and final destinations of her assigned passenger manifests.
“Oklahoma City is B14… You’re welcome, sir – Merry Christmas to you, too.”
Everyone else on 2943 was a connection-in-waiting. But today Amber had a special assignment. The last passenger to deplane – six-year-old Bradi Russo – would be her companion for the day.
“Charlotte? B8.”
Amber was something of a specialist in making connections. And nowhere did the 27-year-old Red Coat’s gifts shine more than in unique, delicate situations.
Bradi Russo was a unique situation.
And as the tentative little girl took the hand of the flight attendant and walked toward the gate, it was good to know, Amber Amari understood the concept of delicate. [click to continue…]
‘Tis the season. . . to roll your eyes whenever somebody starts something with “’Tis the season!”
Anyway…
This is the season to give, give give! Toys for Tots, help for the homeless, marches for missions, and then, of course, those never-ending shopping lists.
With all the emphasis on giving, how about a nice change of pace? You’ve heard that God loves a cheerful giver. Well, guess what givers like? Cheerful receivers!
Did you know it’s possible to actually motivate someone to be thoughtful and generous, to feel good about themselves and you? It all comes when you learn the wonderful art of being a good receiver. Here are seven ways you can do that: [click to continue…]
It’s a common exchange, repeated in restaurants, homes, and shopping malls everywhere…
“Oh there you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“I’ve been right here the whole time.”
Life gives us seasons – and this is one of them – when we are reminded that the greatest blessings come in the form of the simple happiness of relationships. Working together. Enjoying down time together. Praying together. Simply enjoying the Gift of Being There…
It’s one of the most common prayer requests you’ll hear, especially for someone who’s going though “the stuff.” The theology is a little strange, because somebody’s asking God to do what He is already doing. But we all sort of know what it means: “Lord, be with them during this time.” We’re asking God to give someone else the Gift of Being There.
I can’t think of a more God-like expression of generosity, grace, and love than what some people call “the ministry of presence.” [click to continue…]
Remember the time your life was changed because you doubted your ability, and someone you trusted convinced you that you could do it?
Do you remember the healing effect that took place when somebody who hurt you deeply said those magic words? “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry” changed everything in an instant.
How about the time somebody saw something in you that you couldn’t see in yourself – something unique, special, gifted – and pointed it out?
All of these are examples of the six most powerful things you can say to someone.
You and I wouldn’t have to talk very long to agree that words have power. The old proverb still rings true that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). If that’s true, then doesn’t it make sense that we have the power to intentionally choose life with our words?
I’ve made my living with words for a long time. And yes, I have seen up close and personal how words can crush someone’s spirit, destroy relationships, and create a slow (or quick) march to death. But I have also been on both sides of conversations where words gave life, strength, renewed passion and courage.
There are all kinds of ways to encourage, inform, and give new vision. But six expressions stand apart, in a league of their own. If you want to take your words to the next stratosphere, try one or all of these six in your relationships: [click to continue…]
(A puzzle… wrapped in a true story)
I was standing in the bank branch foyer the other day. It was lunchtime, and only two tellers were working, so there was a small line.
Waiting my turn, the man in front of me turned around, and I recognized him. He was an acquaintance from a former church where I had served. The truth is, the last we’d seen of each other in any meaningful way was on a rafting trip more than 10 years ago. We had a few minutes to catch up – not asking eternal-type questions mind you – just mainly the life-and-work stuff.
He had retired a few years ago, just in time for the stock market to crater. So he had figured out that the way out was the way back in, and had gone back to do some consulting.
I told him I am a teacher now for four different universities, soon to be five. I didn’t mention the part about being an aspiring author and counselor.
His back to the tellers, I had to tell him there was one who was available.
“Hello, Mr. Scott,” she said. It was the beginning of a powerful lesson.
Wow, I thought to myself. He must get by here a lot. He must be The Man. I wondered what it was like to have the fab bank teller know you as a somebody. [click to continue…]
Jugglers fascinate me. Not the run-of-mill, three-balls-in-the-air type, but the ones I call the Master Jugglers. I love the guys or gals who can toss torches, chainsaws, balls and small animals all at the same time. Well, maybe not the small animals part, but you get the point.
In a sense, we’re all jugglers. Only, instead of swords or bowling pins, we juggle life. And that’s who this article is for – the jugglers. For the ones who have multiple “balls” in the air – time balls, relationship balls, money balls, even ambition balls. Every one claims to be a priority. Every one demands attention, and often wants it now. In the middle of all that, you and I have a choice: Handle them – or they will handle you.
In order to successfully juggle rather than being tossed around yourself, there are four issues you will need to settle: [click to continue…]
The Twelve Ways of Christmas, Part 3: The Way of Hardship
“This won’t be easy, Erin.”
“I know. It quit being easy three weeks ago,” Erin replied.
“You know I can’t guarantee we will have a scholarship still available if you change your mind.”
“Give it to somebody who can use it. I think it’s gonna be a while,” said Erin in a voice both hollowed by grief and steeled by determination.
Those words still hung in Erin’s heart as the elevator doors closed to mirror her 32-weeks-pregnant frame – and to part company with the destiny she once had been sure lay before her.
For Erin Lucas, life had taken a vicious turn. Always an honors student, a Pre-med Junior majoring in Biochemistry at LSU, Erin had taken up what looked like permanent residence on the President’s List. And she had overcome considerable obstacles to do it.
Raised (if you would call it that) in a dysfunctional home, Erin had last seen her father at age 16. Her mother had done the best she could to provide for Erin and her sister, often working two jobs to make ends meet – not an easy task for a middle-aged woman in south Mississippi with just a high-school education. But it was worth the sacrifice and grief to see to it that Erin and Emily would get a college degree in a high-paying field.
Did I mention that Mama was a bit of a controller?
You can imagine the, “concern” Erin encountered when she brought Donnie Lucas home from Baton Rouge over Christmas break during Erin’s freshman year. [click to continue…]
It was one of those eye-opening days, I guess. Back to school time for me. I was living north of Dallas, and still involved in youth ministry. I taught a Monday night Bible Study that served as the centerpiece of the ministry, and on this particular night I passed out blank paper with a special request: List, in order, the five things it would take to make you perfectly happy.
