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“Joel Andrew Wood! I call you to walk with me in Integrity, Responsibility, and Accountability, and to join me in this community of men!”
There, through a line of tiki torches and a longer gauntlet of whooping, encouraging, cheering men walked my son. For fourteen years I had been his hero. Tonight he would be mine.
As he reached the end of the double line where I was standing, I placed a special necklace around his neck that he has to this day. Then I turned him to face those men and said some of the most powerful words I have ever spoken: “Gentlemen, this is Joel Andrew Wood, my son, in whom I am well pleased.”
I have always lived with the honor of walking in my own father’s unconditional favor – even when he didn’t always approve of my choices. On this night 11 years ago, I had the greater honor of publicly declaring that same kind of blessing over my son.
A Fatherless, Manless Culture
Ours may be the only culture that has no formal point where a boy becomes a man. [click to continue…]
(With humble apologies to the Mary Stevenson Estate)
One night I dreamed that I was dipping my feet in the dog’s water bowl
And walking the lonely journey across my patio,
Leaving wet footprints along the way.
Soon I noticed tiny little footprints appearing behind mine.
[click to continue…]
(The Further Adventures of Eugene Davis, Sophomore Christian)
“I’ve found it!”
I looked up from my desk to see the beaming face of Eugene Davis, my favorite sophomore Christian. Eugene had been following Christ less than two years, but had shown considerable growth during that period.
Trouble was, he knew it.
His zeal for new knowledge was refreshing. But his impatience with others and the seriousness with which he took himself could be annoying.
“Must be another evangelism gimmick,” I thought to myself as I asked politely, “Found what?”
“I’ve found THE sign of a good parent.”
Now I had learned not to be surprised at anything that came from Eugene’s mind, and since I had recently started teaching a class in effective parenting, he succeeded in getting my attention. I thought I had heard them all – unconditional love, “I messages,” eye contact, firm discipline, etc. – but no conference or seminary class had ever prepared me for this. [click to continue…]
Your most trusted employee visits your email inbox with a request for a meeting. When you find the time to get together, he discloses to you that he has a substance abuse problem that requires in-house treatment. Upon further review, you discover that his abuse took place on more than one occasion while on the job – a fireable offense. This is his first sign of trouble. What do you do?
Your teenage daughter is at a friend’s house for a sleepover; you know the friend and are at least familiar with the friend’s parents. You’re awakened at 1:20 a.m. by your daughter asking you to bail her out of jail. The charge: drunk driving. This is the second time you have caught her drinking, but the first time you have had any evidence of drinking and driving. How do you respond?
Your youth pastor has been rumored or accused of inappropriate relationships with girls in his youth groups – one former, one current – which he vehemently denies. He explains that he was just showing Christian concern for someone who had been abused or hurt in the past, and his kindness was misinterpreted. Nevertheless, Scripture is clear that there shouldn’t even be a hint of immorality or impurity among God’s people, and particularly leaders. The youth pastor is very popular among the students, but has his critics among your adults. Keeping him could leave you liable to a lawsuit or public accusation; firing him could decimate your youth group. What do you do? [click to continue…]
How do you respond when you are told every day what a nobody you are? When the people who are supposed to be your friends and co-learners in school instead ruthlessly call you demeaning names, and you feel you have no one to talk to?
Brenda Poage gets that. And Brenda is a somebody that you need to know. Wife and mother, author and visionary, Brenda – like most of us – is who she is because of how she has responded to some painful experiences in her life.
Brenda is a LifeVestor.
Kids can be cruel, but you don’t have to explain that to Brenda. From the time she started school in her small Texas town, she was mercilessly bullied by other kids in school. Having to play academic catch-up required that Brenda attend remedial classes. And she became the brunt of some pretty mean name calling and bullying.
So when educators and parents today start quoting statistics that as many as half of all school children are bullied in some way, Brenda does more than raise her hand as “Exhibit A.” She did something about it. And that’s how Ima Nobody Becomes a Somebody was born. [click to continue…]
Ask an adult to define leadership, and sometimes you’ll get a blank stare, or a wad of contradictions. Ask a child to do it, and he or she will often have a much easier time. The leader in a kid’s world is the one who can get his friends to do what he wants them to do. Or leadership may begin with the words, “Hey, you know what would be funny?”
One thing adults should know that kids often don’t, however, is that anybody can lead. That skinny, awkwardly-shy girl in third grade may be a corporate CEO or trailblazing missionary in the making. That boy who’s always picked last for the kickball team may own a sports team one day.
Everybody is a potential leader. Leadership is not synonymous with talent or personality types. Leadership ability is not always obvious. And it sure isn’t the same thing as authority.
Leadership is influence. And influence – especially good influence – can be taught. And here’s the really cool part: You can teach a child to influence others without them knowing that’s what you’re doing.
So whether you have kids of your own (works for grandchildren, too), or you work with children in some capacity, here are ten ideas for fostering leadership in the kids in your world. [click to continue…]
Took a look at the funnies the other day. To be honest, I read them for the laughter. But I noticed something else in the process. Call me sensitive, or call me curious, but I was intrigued at the ways dads are presented. If it’s true that art imitates life, we may have some big problems. With fathers. With God. With ourselves.
Who is Father? According to the comics, he is Dagwood, the family calamity. He lives to sleep, or to eat, or to deal with the occasional salesman. He’s loveable, but always a little bit late, and about one brick shy of a load.
Who is Father? [click to continue…]
To see in him the image of two – an increase to my place in the world;
To shelter him, and walk at his pace until he can walk at mine;
To lend my strength until he has his own;
To model a partnership of intimacy and trust;
To introduce him to an abundant world;
To teach him the ancient ways, that will live in him beyond my lifetime;
To set him free, even from my influence;
To touch eternity by the ways I touch his life…
This is the sacred trust – to forever remain the friend of a child.
Photo Source: Scenes from Indonesia
Photo credit: REUTERS/Beawiharta
(A Turning Point Story)
“Reverend Wood?”
I always know two things when somebody starts a conversation with that. First, something interesting is sure to follow. Second, whoever it is doesn’t know me very well.
It always feels a little awkward when somebody asks, “What should I call you?” I never have liked the “reverend” thing; the only time I put it in front of my name is when I’m signing a funeral book. I once had a reason for that; now it’s just habit.
My Baptist heritage made me “Brother Andy” to most people. To me, that’s a higher life form than “reverend,” but still felt a bit, I don’t know, dated or preachy or something.
Whenever my wife hears the Abraham-Sarah story, she enjoys calling me, “My lord.” “What would you like for dinner, my lord?” She thinks it’s really funny. I haven’t a clue why.
Since my move to Texas, I’ve been “Pastor Andy” to most people in church. That’s OK. “Andy” is even better. I’ve always liked the simplicity of just being me. But after watching people stumble over all that title biz for a while, I finally took a cue from one of my college professors: a simple “Your Majesty” will do.
Anyway, “Reverend Wood” is at the bottom of the list. And on this day the conversation that followed was interesting, to be sure.
[click to continue…]
Not once did the thought occur to me. Not once.
We knew at 10 weeks we were having twins, courtesy of those dandy new ultrasound machines. And we were excited. Fresh out of school, still using wedding dishes, living in our own home, and picking out not one, but two sets of names.
Two boys? Joel Andrew and Jeremy Adam.
Boy and a girl? Joel Andrew and Jessica Leigh.
I was pretty quiet as we headed home from that latest ultrasound. The images were beginning to form in my mind for the first time.
Two girls?
Cosmic shifts started taking place in my little brain. And they all culminated in a wedding.
Since I was old enough to understand what fathers were, I wanted to be one. I was blessed to have a dad who loves being a dad, to this day. In whatever ways I have failed to live up to his example, I caught the whole load on that one. And in doing so, three deep convictions emerged:
- I would be the first representation of the nature and character of God to my children.
- We were called to raise adults, not children.
- Mommies build nests, but for daddies, children are arrows in their hands, and my job was to launch them.
[click to continue…]
“Joel Andrew Wood! I call you to walk with me in Integrity, Responsibility, and Accountability, and to join me in this community of men!”
