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Loneliness

Come Stand by the Fire

by Andy Wood on February 1, 2012

in Ability,Allocating Your Resources,Five LV Laws,Following Your Passion,Life Currency,LV Cycle,Principle of Increase

As long as people have searched for direction, worshipped their Creator, and looked for language to express their passion and warmth, we have returned again and again to stand by the fire.

The fire was an agent of God’s guidance and an ongoing expression of worship in the days of the tabernacle.  And we kept returning to stand by the fire.

A refiner and cleansing agent of the hearts of men, the fire was a symbol of God’s hatred for sin and an affirmation for the prophets who spoke His truth.  And again and again, we kept returning to stand by the fire.

The fire was a weapon of God’s voice, a light in the darkness, and an expression of hospitality and welcome. And from the dark places and lonely spaces, still we kept coming to stand by the fire.

The fire revealed a passion for God’s word in our bones, the baptism of the believer, the instrument of God’s testing, and the piercing gaze of the risen Christ.  And out of desperation or terror, love or longing, still we kept coming to stand by the fire.

And even today the Spirit and Bride invite you to come.  To be warmed and convicted and cleansed and restored and pure as you stand by the fire. [click to continue…]

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Give the Lonely a Reason to Believe

by Andy Wood on November 4, 2011

in Allocating Your Resources,Five LV Laws,Life Currency,Love,LV Cycle,Principle of Legacy,Time

I will give the lonely a reason to believe in companionship again.

And in so doing, I will banish loneliness from my own heart forever.

-from The Encourager’s Creed

Somewhere near you is an Eeyore in Tigger’s clothing.  They’re bouncy, flouncy, trouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun on the outside.  But on the inside they’re desperately alone and resigned to eating thistles.  And you can make a difference.

There is somebody not far away who is adored for all they do and have to offer.  They have no shortage of attention, compliments, and outright praise.  Yet for all the attention and admiration they receive, they are profoundly lonely.  Why?  Because while many people are amazed by them, nobody seems to understand them.  But you can.

It’s the chameleon of the emotional world. It blends seamlessly into any environment, and play-acts with the best of the cons.  It can empower anybody to be hysterically funny in order to disguise the depression and isolation. It can offer wisdom or encouragement or insight to anybody else, but receives precious little in return. It can mimic the language of the spiritual, with talk of solitude and prayer and hearing God – yet all the while it disguises a relational wasteland. But you can (and should) break through all that.

Loneliness.  Ever since Eve and her husband were evicted from their first home, something in us has ached with a longing for companionship and deep connection.  We want to know we are searched (understood) thoroughly, known intimately, and loved unconditionally.  [click to continue…]

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Amber Nazareth

by Andy Wood on December 20, 2010

in Life Currency,Love

(The 12 Ways of Christmas, Part 11 – The Way of Connection)

“I have connecting gate information here!”

Amber Amari knew something about making connections.  And no place connected more people and destinations than Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.

“Dallas/Ft Worth? A33.  Richmond?  Gate B10.”

Amber had the printout for Delta Flight 2943, inbound from Newark, as she stood at Gate A5.  But she hardly had to refer to it.  She had a remarkable gift for remembering the complex array of gates, times, and final destinations of her assigned passenger manifests.

“Oklahoma City is B14…  You’re welcome, sir – Merry Christmas to you, too.”

Everyone else on 2943 was a connection-in-waiting.  But today Amber had a special assignment.  The last passenger to deplane – six-year-old Bradi Russo – would be her companion for the day.

“Charlotte?  B8.”

Amber was something of a specialist in making connections.  And nowhere did the 27-year-old Red Coat’s gifts shine more than in unique, delicate situations.

Bradi Russo was a unique situation.

And as the tentative little girl took the hand of the flight attendant and walked toward the gate, it was good to know, Amber Amari understood the concept of delicate. [click to continue…]

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The Drive

by Andy Wood on December 11, 2010

in Following Your Passion,Life Currency,Love,LV Cycle

(The 12 Ways of Christmas, Part 9 – The Way of Searching)

Kevin Hunter stared into the darkening eastern sky as he negotiated the city’s freeway traffic.  Busy enough because it was Friday afternoon, the holiday season only made New Orleans driving more congested.  The take-no-prisoners aroma of the Folgers Coffee plant and the looming I-10 high-rise bridge gave Kevin all the sensory evidence he needed… 

The Big Easy would soon be in his rearview mirror, perhaps forever.

The irony of Daughtry on the radio was more than Kevin bargained for as he reached for the “search” button:

I’m staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain.

I’m going to the place where love and feeling good don’t ever cost a thing.

And the pain you feel’s a different kind of pain.

Well I’m going home, back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me…

[click]

…apples are a natural breath neutralizer…

[click]

Traffic backed up on the Huey P. Long Bridge, delays up to…

[click]

I know your still searching.  Uh huh.  You searching for love.  Uh huh.  You searching for peace.  (That’s right!) But you’re never gonna find what you’re lookin’ fo’ till you find what the Wise Men found!  Wise men still seek Him!

[click]

Kevin gave up on auto room noise and settled into the quiet, dusky stillness as the double row of taillights escorted him over Lake Pontchartrain.  It seemed odd to be making this journey on this day – his 30th birthday.  It had been two years since he’d been to Pensacola – longer than that since he’d celebrated Christmas at home with his parents.  But the urgency in his mother’s voice and the crumbling life around him made it clear – like it or not, it was time to face the music.

And the Man. [click to continue…]

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Storming the Gates of Loneliness

by Andy Wood on October 11, 2010

in Esteem,Life Currency,Love

“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” (Carl Jung) 

In an eastern hospital years ago, a group of medical students were doing a pediatric rotation.   As they worked with these hospitalized kids each day, they noticed that the patients responded with great joy to one particular med student.  Nobody could figure out why.  So they talked one of their cohort members into doing a little spying. 

The observer followed him around all day and discovered nothing.  Finally that night, the mystery was solved when the young doctor made his last round. [click to continue…]

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Lonely for God

by Andy Wood on September 17, 2010

in Five LV Laws,LV Cycle,Principle of Abundance,Waiting

Thomasville, Alabama.  A long time ago.  I was driving from Jackson to Tuscaloosa and had stopped for gas at one of those places where they still pumped it for you.  Young man walks out and gets the pump going while I’m pretty much minding my own business.  I’m wearing jeans and tennis shoes, with some casual shirt.

He eyes me and asks, “You a minister?”

(I hated then and hate now looking like a preacher.)

“Yes,” I replied, surprised.  “How did you know?”

“You have this glow about ‘cha,” he said with a smile.

I was surprised again, and blessed.  This wasn’t a particularly glowing trip.  I was driving north to unload a car on the back end of a dumb purchase that had left us pretty beaten down financially.  It was a desperate move to get out of a stupid debt.

Glow?  I’d have to take that one by faith.  It felt more like I was panting.

As the deer pants for the water brooks,

So my soul pants for You, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;

When shall I come and appear before God? (Psalm 42:1-2)

Ever feel like you were panting?  Like you couldn’t quite catch your breath as you went from one thing to another?  From one stressor to another?  From one disappointment to another? [click to continue…]

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From Shame to Grace

by Andy Wood on April 16, 2010

in Esteem,Five LV Laws,Life Currency,LV Alter-egos,Pleasers,Principle of Freedom

And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God.

You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast.

Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion,

and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance;

and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,

and everlasting joy will be theirs (Isaiah 61:6-7, NIV).

It’s a scary journey, the move from shame to grace.  But it’s a journey every growing believer in Christ, every recovering addict, every healing soul must take.  The paths are often unfamiliar.  Lessons must be un-learned and relearned.  You will be forced to face down familiar, but largely unchallenged beliefs.

People who live in the realm of shame live in a world the Brennan Manning describes as “huffing and puffing to impress God.”

It’s a realm of performance.  Brownie points or self-condemnation.  Self-fixing mixed with wallowing in guilt.  Comparing ourselves to others in order to feel superior… or to prove what an absolute joke we are.  “You’re nothing,” shame whispers.  “And if people really knew you, they would agree.”

As much of a liar as shame is, sometimes it’s more comfortable to return to old patterns of thinking and feeling.  It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable to confront the truths of the scandalous grace of God.

“I am a creation of infinite worth?” Ridiculous.

“I am totally forgiven?” What do you mean, “totally?”

“I am completely loved, fully pleasing?” In what universe?  What absurd fantasy?

Challenge that!  Confess the truth, whether it lines up with your feelings or the twisted logic of shame or not.  And most of all, learn to accept the grace of God as it is expressed through the graciousness of others.

The secret is gratitude.  When a friend encourages you, when someone offers a gift, when another praises you, receive it with the same graciousness in which it was offered.

Try this for practice: [click to continue…]

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