If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Or you can select your feed type by clicking on the "Subscribe" button on the right. Thanks for visiting!
Leading Individuals and Teams Through Conflict
Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were great friends. Throughout their near-lifelong friendship, as far as we know they never had a problem.
Never had a solution, either.
Friends? Yes. And boring.
Jefferson and John Adams? Boy, was that a different story. One looooong, near-lifelong debate. Fiery exchanges. Icy periods of silence. And one of the warmest, most profound collections of letters in history between these two icons, who died on the same day, 50 years to the day after the Declaration of Independence was signed.
Friends? Oh my, yes. They each had busts of the other in their homes. And Adams, not knowing his friend had already died, departed this life with these words: “Thomas Jefferson still survives.”
That said, let’s be honest. Few of us get up in the morning hoping to cross swords with friends. Or spouses. Or parents or kids or team members or employees or constituents or customers. (Dear Mark: Please call again soon – I promise I’ll be nicer on the recorded line for quality assurance purposes.) And yet the quality of your relationship is measured – not by the lack of conflict, but by how those conflicts are managed and solutions are forged.
(Dear Congress… Oh. Well. Never mind.)
Here’s how Thomas Gordon puts it: [click to continue…]
(From the forthcoming book, Coach Lightning)
(Note: Anybody can be an influence to people sitting right in front of them. But it takes a special kind of character to continue to shape lives you first touched 50 years ago. The following is an excerpt about the way Morris Brown did that, and how his influence lives on to this day. You can see other excerpts here and here.)
Benjamin Disraeli, the British statesman, once said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.” That’s what you discover when you talk to the people whose lives were touched by Morris Brown. You hear the language of wealthy people. And they’ll tell you that Coach Brown was instrumental in revealing their riches to them.
One of the greatest contributions any leader, teacher, or friend can make in terms of influence is to “raise the bar” in the pursuit of excellence. Morris did that time and time again. Don Hunt calls him a “beacon in my heart and soul” to this day. From the days of Little League baseball until today, Don says, Coach Brown’s life and actions remind him to strive to be the best person that he can be.
It’s interesting to note that in all the conversations or interviews about Coach Brown’s influence, nobody went to a chalkboard and started drawing the X’s and O’s of a football locker room. Morris influenced players and students by first influencing them as people. As he helped raise up a generation of excellent people, the on-field or on-court play took care of itself. [click to continue…]
No.
Not if the focus is more on the office of the leader than on the needs of the led. Leaders tend to have places in authority that give them the power to move people around, get people to do (or not do) things, hire and fire people, and in other ways mess with people’s lives. Often those people (and the leaders) reverence the office more than the mission. In Church World, I’ve been in places where “pastor” was synonymous with “Your Majesty.” Where whims of the leader today become orders in stone tomorrow. Where elders become rubber stamp specialists and people in general act like they just drank the Kool Aid – at least when the Anointed One is around. And I don’t care who you are – that’s not healthy.
Not if there is a distinction between the interests of the leader and the good of the group. [click to continue…]
A Fable about leadership, teamwork, unity, and of course, honey…
It was a lovely morning in the Hundred Acre Wood, where Christopher Robin’s friends lived and played. The bees were abuzz making their honey (and You-Know-Who knew just who it was for).
Kanga had already gotten an early start on motherly things, while Roo was playing close by.
Piglet was pacing about his tidy home saying “Oh Dear, Dear, Dear” because he knew something Important was about to happen, but he couldn’t quite remember what it was.
Rabbit was tending his garden, nervously glancing around for signs that he soon may be bounced by Tigger.
Eeyore was a bit confused as he chomped on a thistle because he couldn’t think of anything to be gloomy about.
Owl was remembering the time to no one in particular that his great uncle Waldo on his mother’s side did something famous because it happened on a lovely day such as today.
And Winnie the Pooh? Being a Bear of Very Little Brain, he was sitting at the Thotful Spot, thinking. And wishing for just a bit of honey, because as everyone knows, bears think better when their tumblies aren’t so rumbly. And there’s nothing like honey to take the rumbly out of the tumbly.
This was no ordinary day after all. This was the day of the Grand Celebration. They weren’t quite sure what they were celebrating, but everyone had agreed that today would be a fine day to celebrate it. [click to continue…]
Want to see a sure-fire sign of a leadership disaster? Try leading everybody the same way. Fairness is one thing. Crafting organizations with a cookie cutter is another. It doesn’t work with kids; why in the world do you think it would work with their parents?
Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus put it this way:
Leadership is essentially a human business…. What we have found in studying leaders is that the higher the rank, the more interpersonal and human the undertaking. The top executives we followed spent roughly 90 percent of their time with others and virtually the same percentage of their time concerned with the messiness of people problems.
Different situations, different people, and different teams and organizations require leaders who can flex their approach. Here are seven different situations that call for different styles or messages from leaders: [click to continue…]
(The Further Adventures of Eugene Davis, Sophomore Christian)
“I’ve found it!”
I looked up from my desk to see the beaming face of Eugene Davis, my favorite sophomore Christian. Eugene had been following Christ less than two years, but had shown considerable growth during that period.
Trouble was, he knew it.
His zeal for new knowledge was refreshing. But his impatience with others and the seriousness with which he took himself could be annoying.
“Must be another evangelism gimmick,” I thought to myself as I asked politely, “Found what?”
“I’ve found THE sign of a good parent.”
Now I had learned not to be surprised at anything that came from Eugene’s mind, and since I had recently started teaching a class in effective parenting, he succeeded in getting my attention. I thought I had heard them all – unconditional love, “I messages,” eye contact, firm discipline, etc. – but no conference or seminary class had ever prepared me for this. [click to continue…]
If your paychecks came from Ford Motor Company in the 1970s, you lived in an ugly time. Morale was low. Sales were taking a beating. Quality was “job none.” And the company operated from an entrenched system of rules and regulations. Into that demoralized environment, Donald Peterson became Ford’s CEO in 1980.
Peterson showed up tossing words around like “teamwork” and “upward communication.” But words mean nothing to entrenched bureaucracies. So Peterson tried something radical – he left his office. He would walk into the offices of designers and ask simple questions like:
- Do you like these cars?
- Do you feel proud of them?
- Would you park one in your driveway?
I think you can guess the answer he received.
Your job, Peterson said, is to come up with the cars you think will sell – cars you can be proud of. The results were stunning and quick, by auto industry standards. The first significant product was the 1983 Thunderbird, followed quickly by the wildly successful Taurus, which became the best-selling midsized car in America.
That was just for starters. During the 1980s, Ford reversed its dismal previous performance to record then-record-breaking profits. Peterson was chosen by his fellow CEOs as the nation’s most effective leader, surpassing even Lee Iacocca.
What made the difference? Donald Peterson was a Side-by-Side Leader. In the words of Robert Richardson and Katherine Thayer, “Peterson didn’t accomplish all this by sitting behind a desk and telling people what he wanted done. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and jumped in. He provided a direction and goal and then participated in making them reality.”
Your Worst Skydiving Fear
Imagine you are an inexperienced skydiver. You’ve been on a few jumps, but still think of yourself as a rookie. It’s a beautiful day for flying and jumping out of airplanes, so up you go. You reach the point where it’s time to pull the ripcord, and it malfunctions. To your horror, so does the backup chute.
Suddenly it’s not such a good day for jumping out of airplanes. [click to continue…]
Does your team have what it takes to go the distance?
Something happens when people get together to forge a team. Unfortunately, that “something” isn’t always what you’re looking for. See if you recognize any of these teams from your experience:
Team Fritter. Talk about potential. It seems as though whenever they’re on the ropes, somehow the miraculous happens and they live to see another day. On the other hand, every time it seems they have the chance for that big breakthrough they flounder. Never fully realizing their potential, they choke every time they get ahead.
Team Glitter. This bunch has success written all over it. Smart, good-looking, and well-liked, things came fast and easy for Team Glitter. Too fast. And too easy. Before you know it, what appears to shimmer is anything but gold. And the team comes caving in under the load of its own scandal(s), greed, and dishonesty.
Team Bitter. Another story of lost potential, this team doesn’t have an integrity problem. It has an anger problem. A big anger problem. Sucked in by jealousy and dispirited by feelings of rejection or failure, this team sabotages its own enormous potential by holding onto the bitterness, anger, or mistrust. [click to continue…]
I have a friend who makes me funny. Not makes me laugh. He makes me funny. As in Night-at-the-Improv, bust-a-gut hilarious. I hear myself say things to him I wish I could remember later and somehow capture the moment.
There are plenty of times when I do OK by a crowd and generate a smile or two. But this guy takes me to a whole other place.
How does he do it? For starters, he has a very rewarding laugh – one that boldly proclaims, “I think you’re funny.” He also anticipates the fact that I’m going to make him laugh. He’s always on the edge of another crack-up when we talk. On top of that, he tells other people how funny I am. The laughter we have shared has forged a unique identity I step into whenever we talk or get together.
I have another friend who makes me wise. As in Child-of-Solomon, guru-deep profound. [click to continue…]
Never has there been a higher call – or a greater need – for men and women of God with the heart of a Shepherd.
The Shepherd leads. He feeds. He knows the sheep by name, and lays down his life for them. His leadership arises from a heart that has once and for all died to all else but the lives of the sheep. He cares for the ninety-nine who cling to the sound of his voice; yet he pursues with reckless abandon the one who, intent on finding his own way, is now lost.
Be a Shepherd, for God’s sake! And in so doing, be an overseer.
Remember, you can never over-see what you aren’t seeing over. Rise above your own sins, self-interest, and troublesome circumstances – then you will discern what is happening in the lives of other people. Watch! Don’t allow yourself to become oblivious to what is happening in their lives. Remember, you don’t have to take your eyes off the sheep in order to hear from the Chief Shepherd.
Be a Shepherd, for God’s sake! And in so doing, be a willing leader. [click to continue…]
Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were great friends. Throughout their near-lifelong friendship, as far as we know they never had a problem.
