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It was a new day at Grace Church. A new pastor was coming, and this would be his first weekend. People were excited, and they needed to be. Grace had gone through an ugly split that had left a lot of angry, hurt, and confused people in its wake. A pretty solid plug of people had started Faith Church down the road and had contacted the outgoing pastor from Grace to help them get started. Some people had left for other churches. Some people had quit attending anywhere.
One of the walking wounded was a former associate pastor – Chris Naylor. Chris had received “the right foot of fellowship” from the previous administration. Though he had found other opportunities for Kingdom service, Chris was still a member – at least on paper – at Grace.
That’s why I was a little surprised when I asked Chris and his wife Rachael if they were going to hear the new guy that weekend, and both immediately, categorically said, “No.”
Ooh. Sorry I asked.
“My friends think I’m bitter,” Chris added.
“Are you?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied honesty. “How do you balance the fact that on the one hand I love the church and wish nothing but the best for them, but on the other hand, have absolutely no respect for their system of leadership or the choices they have made?”
“I don’t know.”
Chris was just getting warmed up as Rachael was tearing up. [click to continue…]
Alexander's Bridge over Chickamauga Creek
Imagine throwing a little backyard barbecue and inviting 12,000 of your closest friends. And even closer enemies.
It happened nearly 125 years ago, in 1889, at a place called Chickamauga, near Chattanooga, TN. And it took place where these friends and enemies had once gathered 26 years earlier to kill each other.
You don’t hear as much about the Battle of Chickamauga as you do Vicksburg or Gettysburg or Shiloh. But in two days, 66,000 Confederate and 58,000 Union troops staged two days of hell – desperate, often hand-to-hand combat. Somewhere around 18,480 Confederate and 16,240 Union soldiers were killed, wounded or missing when all was said and done.
One side won the battle. The other won the war.
Then as time passed, something remarkable happened. [click to continue…]
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer (Psalm 32:4).
Everybody talks about the fever heat of summer.
But nobody talks about the heavy hand of God anymore. [click to continue…]
When it comes to relationships, are you a builder or a buster? I’ve known both, and I’m sure you have, too.
Relationship builders are liked. Respected. Trusted. They believe in the deep, abiding value of relationships with others, and invest their lives in nurturing them. But they also seem to go about relationship building in an almost-effortless way.
Relationship busters are different. They may get along with anybody for a season, but sooner or later their relationships tend to blow up or fall apart. Or they live in constant relationship drama.
One of the things I have learned about relationships is that a large part of them are an inside job. That is, there is a difference between the way builders and busters think. And whatever controls your thinking right now establishes the course of your relationships for a long time.
In his letter to the Colossians, Paul writes from a Roman prison and encourages them to engage in linking thinking: [click to continue…]
In the previous post, we explored the idea of Life Shapers – the people who help make you more than you naturally would be in specific areas. Some people influence you to be stronger, wiser, funnier or more committed to excellence. Others may influence you to be fearful, suspicious, negative, or angry – all by the ways they interact with you.
This may explain why you’re drawn to the friends you have. Maybe you like them, or maybe you like the person you are when you’re with them.
It may also suggest some people you need to avoid. What your Mama (and the Bible) told you about bad company rings true in many cases. But I’m not just talking about party animals or thieves. If they constantly leave you feeling shamed, rejected, angry or afraid, maybe it’s time to choose a new set of influences.
Quoting from the last post…
You are who you are largely because of the people who believe in you, have you in their hearts, and expect the best (or worst) from you. This may be a good time to say “thank you” to the ones who are building you up, and “good-bye” to the ones who tear you down.
And for those who still answer when you call or read what you write, maybe it’s time to wise up – and rise up – to the life-shaper you can be.
Bringing Out the Best in Others
Do you realize the potential you have to be a life shaper? You are just as much a potential influence on others as they are on you. And while your nonverbal communication is still much stronger, there are some intentional things you can do to bring out the best in others. [click to continue…]
It’s a common exchange, repeated in restaurants, homes, and shopping malls everywhere…
“Oh there you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“I’ve been right here the whole time.”
Life gives us seasons – and this is one of them – when we are reminded that the greatest blessings come in the form of the simple happiness of relationships. Working together. Enjoying down time together. Praying together. Simply enjoying the Gift of Being There…
It’s one of the most common prayer requests you’ll hear, especially for someone who’s going though “the stuff.” The theology is a little strange, because somebody’s asking God to do what He is already doing. But we all sort of know what it means: “Lord, be with them during this time.” We’re asking God to give someone else the Gift of Being There.
I can’t think of a more God-like expression of generosity, grace, and love than what some people call “the ministry of presence.” [click to continue…]
A few years ago, my friend Rick was on a plane loaded to the wing flaps with hazardous cargo.
It was hauling a bunch of preachers to a convention.
Rick was in his best never-met-a-stranger form, and he was trolling up and down the aisle introducing himself.
“Are you a pastor?”
“Where are you from?”
He’d chat for a while and move on. And the more he moved, the more the passengers paid attention.
Finally he reached one row and asked a well-dressed man, “You look like a pastor. Where are you from?”
“I’m not,” the man replied in a louder-than-usual voice. “I’ve just been sick for a few days.”
The whole plane erupted with laughter. [click to continue…]
Time for full disclosure.
In the previous post I shared ten false beliefs that lead to shame. You may have your own variation, and probably do.
Those are mine. Every one of those came right out of my journal.
Not that I actually believe them, but they are the lies the enemy hurls or has hurled at me over the years. And given the right set of circumstances, they can be very persuasive.
Maybe that’s why Jesus revealed Himself as the Truth (John 14:6). God knew it would take a personal relationship with Truth-as-a-Person to ever set us free from the lies of shame.
Stop. [click to continue…]
What would you do if you were Jimmy? You’re caught in a dilemma because your best friend is a hood. Riff-raff. Wrong side of the tracks. Your parents say you can’t visit him. And he’d do just as well to stay on his side of town, too. But there’s something special about him; that’s why he’s your best friend. He doesn’t have much, but he does have heart and passion.
And a cheap, second-hand guitar he doesn’t even know how to tune.
You come from a good family, with something of a pedigree. You live in one of the music capitals of America, and your cousin is a famous country musician.
Maybe you can still be his friend - this kid some people called “white trash.”
Maybe you can introduce your friend to your cousin. Maybe your cousin can cross the tracks in your place.
That’s what Jimmy did. [click to continue…]
This is about endurance.
About playing hurt.
About finishing strong.
This is about starting over. About reinventing yourself, your future, your relationships.
Before there was a Ripkin or a Rocky Balboa (VI), there was Lou Gehrig. The Iron Man played in 2,130 consecutive baseball games. However many seasons that was, Gehrig never missed a game.
Did he ever get hurt, sick, or tired? Yep. But he always showed up at game time.
That’s one of the keys, you know. Just show up.
After Lou retired, he had a physical examination. [click to continue…]
It was a new day at Grace Church. A new pastor was coming, and this would be his first weekend. People were excited, and they needed to be. Grace had gone through an ugly split that had left a lot of angry, hurt, and confused people in its wake. A pretty solid plug of people had started Faith Church down the road and had contacted the outgoing pastor from Grace to help them get started. Some people had left for other churches. Some people had quit attending anywhere.
