It could alter traffic, change work schedules, and send us into bone-chilled terror. When we weren’t busting out laughing.
I’m talking about “The Look.”
Mama copped to it – even called it “The JoAnne Look.”
My most recent encounter with it came last October when we were sitting in the lobby of Providence Hospital waiting for my dad to get a test. Secluded in a waiting area, we could hear somebody on the other side setting up some sort of display by dragging eight-foot tables with an annoying racket. Especially annoying if you had a bad headache, as Mama did.
Okay, I get it. Dickens County (pop. 2,762) is hiring at the local correctional facility in Spur (pop. 1,088).
But is it just me?
Or is there sometimes more than one way to read an invitation?
Wanna join our family? Just keep drinking and driving, Otis. Or just knock your wife around or knock off that store.
We’re an equal opportunity… employer… with benefits. We offer three squares a day, with health and dental as needed. (Or we’ll at least get the local vet to pull that bad tooth.)
“What are you teaching them about?” my daughter asked – referring to our upcoming pastors and leaders training in Thailand.
“Leadership,” I said.
“Well, can I ask you something? Is there a way – I’m not sure how to say this – is there a way to ‘dumb down’ leadership training?”
My pause meant, “Keep going.”
“I have to train these fifth-and-sixth-grade leaders every day at FROG camp for about 30 minutes on being a leader, and I was wondering how I could explain biblical leadership on their level.”
I did a random brainstorm with her. Talked about David and Joshua and Paul and Jesus. Hurled out Bible passages like Joshua 1:1-9, 2 Timothy, 1 Peter 5:2-4, 1 Corinthians 2:1-5. She said “thanks,” but I hung up with the feeling that I hadn’t “dumbed down” anything.
That got me to thinking later. I have a Ph.D. in Organizational Leadership. I’ve spent years studying theories and models, biblical principles and best practices. But none of them – none – involved fifth- or sixth-graders.
Maybe we have it backwards. Rather than presuming to teach 11-year-olds all about leading, maybe we should try to learn some things from them. [click to continue…]
Interested in getting a head start on your firewood for next winter? I once heard of a unique way to drop a tree. It seems some villagers in the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific have learned how to conquer the really big ones. If a tree is too large to be felled with an ax, the natives cut it down by yelling at it. (I’m not making this up. I read it in a book, so it must be true.) Just at dawn these woodsmen with special powers sneak up on a tree and suddenly scream at it at the top of their lungs. They do this every day for 30 days, and the tree dies and falls over. The theory is that yelling kills the spirit of the tree. According to the villagers, it always works.
Felling by yelling. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Crazy enough to be true.
I’ll have to admit, though, I’ve never seen it happen. I’ve never yelled at a tree (and I wouldn’t tell you if I had). Not for thirty days. Not for one day. Furthermore, I’ve never seen anyone else yell at a tree. So I can’t say by experience that hollering works on trees.
But it does work on kids. I have seen that happen.
Works on spouses, too.
Some people yell at their cars or their washing machine, and it doesn’t seem to do much good. But I’ve seen it drop a few pastors. And I’ve seen it kill the spirit of a friend or two as well. [click to continue…]
During the days of the Carter administration, “Carter Country” was a popular sitcom. Reagan’s presidency produced a number of “this-guy’s-gonna-get-us-killed” movies about nuclear war, including “The Day After.” The Clinton years gave us record numbers of movies made about the U.S. President – including “Dave,” “Wag the Dog,” and “Primary Colors.” And the Bush years produced a mixed bag of spiritual themes (“Chronicles of Narnia,” “Lord of the Rings Trilogy,” and “The Passion of the Christ”) and war-on-terrorism flicks and shows like “The Unit.”
So President Obama takes the oath yesterday. And what’s the first new TV rollout, starting tonight?
(And other lessons learned from The Senior Ladies Exercise Club)
I couldn’t help but overhear.
The way I figure it, the whole block could have overheard.
I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year, but I did make a lifestyle change (hey, I’ve done it three days in a row – that ought to count for something). Yes, friends, I’m back in the gym.
I’m still trying to figure out the best time of day to work out. I think people like my associate, who works out at 4:30 every morning, need to work on a different kind of health, if you know what I’m sayin’. So yesterday, I show up about mid-morning, to find the parking lot completely full.
Not a good sign.
Well, maybe they’re all in a class or something, I hoped to myself, as I headed to the cardio room to resume my Couch-to-5k training schedule. To my chagrin, the place was packed. Every treadmill taken. And it was only when one became available and I nabbed it that I realized – I’d been sucked into the vortex of the Senior Ladies Exercise Club. They probably have their own name for it; that’s just my name for the Twilight Zone I was in.
The last time I was this surrounded was when I was asked to speak to a room full of women-only about Things Husbands Wished Their Wives Understood. They were a great group, really sweet and highly motivated. Didn’t matter – I was scared to death.
Anyway, there were three ladies on treadmills to the left, and what seemed like 93 to the right. [click to continue…]