LifeVesting » Protecting Your Investment

Better or Bitter? Five Ways to Know

Andy Wood — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:44:04 +0000

It was a new day at Grace Church. A new pastor was coming, and this would be his first weekend. People were excited, and they needed to be. Grace had gone through an ugly split that had left a lot of angry, hurt, and confused people in its wake. A pretty solid plug of people had started Faith Church down the road and had contacted the outgoing pastor from Grace to help them get started. Some people had left for other churches. Some people had quit attending anywhere.

One of the walking wounded was a former associate pastor – Chris Naylor. Chris had received “the right foot of fellowship” from the previous administration. Though he had found other opportunities for Kingdom service, Chris was still a member – at least on paper – at Grace.

That’s why I was a little surprised when I asked Chris and his wife Rachael if they were going to hear the new guy that weekend, and both immediately, categorically said, “No.”

Ooh. Sorry I asked.

“My friends think I’m bitter,” Chris added.

“Are you?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied honesty. “How do you balance the fact that on the one hand I love the church and wish nothing but the best for them, but on the other hand, have absolutely no respect for their system of leadership or the choices they have made?”

“I don’t know.”

Chris was just getting warmed up as Rachael was tearing up. “How do you wish the new senior pastor well, but sincerely pray that God destroys every underpinning of manipulation, deception, inbreeding, materialism, control, bitterness, and pride?”

“This is a church we’re talking about?” I asked semi-sarcastically.

“How do you move on and accept the fact that you’ve been rejected, and yet still want to be open to whatever God may have for you in the future? Is it okay to say, ‘It’s just too painful for me to be here right now?’ Is it okay to focus on being mentally, spiritually and emotionally healthy and quit lingering?”

“Well, it is important that you’re moving toward healing, wherever you go and whatever that looks like.”

Rachael chimed in: “Why would we want to stay there? We’re not getting fed, it’s hard to worship, and we have no respect for the people in authority. Does that mean we’re bitter toward them? Does it mean we have an unforgiving heart? Hey, we stayed around longer than a lot of people.”

“That may be true,” I replied. “But it isn’t wise to evaluate your heart by comparing yourself with other people.”

A Repeated Conversation

The conversation above – which is fictionalized – is a composite I have had with dozens and dozens of people over the last 35 years. Never have I seen more spiritually homeless or church-wounded people than in recent years. Sometimes it’s because they’re in search of something they can’t find this side of heaven. Sometimes it’s because Church World has dramatically changed over the last 20 years, for better or worse, and they feel left behind.

But most often, it’s because the place they once called (and felt) home deeply disappointed or wounded them.

And I don’t care.

I don’t mean I’m not sympathetic. Hey, I get it. Been there, and have drawers full of t-shirts to show it. The “fellowship of the forgiven” can be a brutal place sometimes.

But my primary concern isn’t, “You poor thing, who did this to you?”

My primary concern is, what are you (and I) doing with the hurts? Regardless of what you do on Sunday mornings, are you, with God’s help, moving toward healing? Or are you just hiding in a cave of self pity or shame? Or hurling a lot of anger stains on other people – sometimes the people you most care about? Or holding it all in with a stone-cold, bitter heart?

How Can You Know?

The tricky thing about healing is that it sometimes engages in similar behaviors as bitterness. Sometimes you actually may need to withdraw from a painful environment or say good-bye to toxic relationships for the sake of healing – yours or someone in your family. A man once told me, “When your wife has to take a tranquilizer just to make it through Sunday morning, it’s time for a change.”

Yes, it is. But because the heart is easily fooled, it’s important to remember – just because you’re not drinking any more of the poison doesn’t mean it’s no longer in your system. And make no mistake about it – bitterness is a poison.

So that’s the difference between bitterness – an ongoing sin – and moving on through a grief process or whatever is healthy? Evaluate your experience by these five differences:

1. Bitterness moves me away from God. Healing moves me toward Him.

It’s one thing to pull away from toxic people or places. It’s another to pull away from God. The Lord invites you to bring your pain, your sorrow, your burden, even your sinful anger to Him. That was the secret of so many men and women in the Bible. They had their share of betrayals, rejection, and disappointment. But they continued to bring them to God.

2. Bitterness seeks to justify myself and my behavior. Healing is always teachable.

Bitterness makes you a permanent, innocent victim. You’re never wrong when you’re bitter – it’s always somebody else’s fault. Healing is different. If you want to see a great example, check out Psalm 73. After railing and whining at God like a jackass, the psalmist shut up and got teachable. “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you,” he says. Do you suppose there is something you need to learn?

3. Bitterness alienates me from other people. Healing moves me toward people.

Bitter people begin having a tainted view of all relationships. Everyone is suspect. Nobody can be trusted. Churches are all the same. Men are all the same. Women are all the same. White people or people in authority or you-name-it kinds of people are all alike. Healing, on the other hand, recognizes the value and need we all have for relationships. It’s wise enough to recognize that while they are no substitute for God, other people can and should be instruments of his love.

4. Bitterness seeks more reasons to carry an offenses. Healing deals with issues, and seeks closure.

Bitterness has a way of keeping the mental files open. The radar stays on alert for more evidence, more gossip, or (best yet) more bitter people to commiserate with. Anything to justify the rage and keep the poison flowing. Healing seeks change. Resolve the issue. Change the situation. Change the attitude. Change the location if necessary. But all for the sake of restoring your heart’s ability to give and receive love.

5. Bitterness seeks revenge or pain for those who offended. Healing seeks the grace to forgive.

Bitter people live for the day when their offenders hurt as badly as they have been hurt. But here’s the problem – revenge or “justice” may bring a certain amount of satisfaction. But it doesn’t cure the heart of its sour, hostile disposition. Only forgiveness will do that. And let’s be clear: forgiveness is not natural. It’s supernatural. It is a work of grace, performed by a God of grace, in a heart of faith. It rarely happens just once – it’s an ongoing process, as is 99% of the healing you ever experience. But it’s as faithful as the God behind it to restore what people’s meanness or stupidity have taken from you.

Hurting hearts are tricky, dangerous things. They face an ongoing series of forks in the road – one leading to bitterness, the other toward healing. This is a case where you may, indeed, want to choose the road less traveled. It will make all the difference. But choosing the road less traveled doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. You have a Faithful and True Companion, who promises rest for the soul’s burden you carry.

Don’t you think it’s time to take Him up on that offer?

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Dawn at the Museum

Andy Wood — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:00:21 +0000

Have you ever woken up first thing in the morning and realized you were in a museum?

And you were what was on display?

You may not have recognized the location at first because everything seemed so real. You were traveling through one mental display after another of your past life.

Names.

Faces.

Feelings.

Friends.

Sometimes the scenes are wistful and happy reminders of people and days gone by. Sometimes you’re reliving the glory days. But sometimes it plays out more like a horror movie or a disaster cleanup. It’s ugly – and you’re the reason.

It may be a new day on the outside, but in here you’re trapped in the old ones.

That happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I woke up feeling contemplative and sad. I was remembering an ugly season in my life from many years ago. I can’t point to any triggers that brought it all up, but here it was, and there I was reliving it.

I’ll spare you the details – we can save the vomit for another day (or no day). But in a matter of minutes I had a new view of how drunk I was on myself back then. Of how sick and broken I had allowed my life to become on the inside, all the while pretending to be somebody else on the outside. I was too blind to see it then. But with my eyes still closed on a Tuesday morning years later, it was all too clear.

Then it came. The haunting questions. The accusations. I should have known who my tour guide was, but the memories were so vivid I got lost in them.

“That’s who you really are.”

“You’re no different today than you were back then.”

“You’re a joke, and when people are kind to you, they’re just being polite.”

“You’re a reject, and you should be.”

Depressed yet? I was headed there. But that was when I did something profound and mood-changing:

I got out of the bed. And out of those thought patterns. I made the coffee. I wrote out some things in my journal. And I listened for the Voice of Truth from God’s word and His Spirit.

And here’s the gist of what He had to say:

Why do you continue to pay and pay and pay – as if you COULD pay for the exceeding sinfulness of your sin?

Maybe there’s a better way – an only-good way. Read this. Declare it over your life. And by My power, live it:

I lay the exceeding sinfulness of my sin on the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ, where it has been paid for once and for all.

I account to Him for my wretchedness, but also for His redeeming life that flows through me.

I yield, not just to the demands of His holiness, but to the truth of His declaration that I am forgiven and free.

I place my dependence, not on my performance or my ability to please people, but on His ultimate declaration that “it is finished.”

I base my worth, not on my ability to manipulate or my ability to grovel in the guilt, but in the proven worth of His offer – His wealth in exchange for my poverty, and His life in exchange for my death.

I remember my past as the works of a dead man – not just the works of sin, but the works of self-righteousness, which are just as repugnant to God.

I look soberly at my past life as relics from a museum – reminders that I once was lost but now I am found.

Once found, sometimes I lose my way – badly. But I can look at today and, despite circumstances or conditions I may wish were different, I can declare I am free.

I may yearn for what I have lost, but not as one who has been lost to God.

I may mourn for lost opportunities I wish I could do over, but not as one who has forever lost a God of opportunity.

I may grieve the losses, but I rejoice in a God with the infinite capacity to restore and even multiply the years that the locusts have eaten.

The end of the story hasn’t been told about me yet.

If Samson – God’s wild child – still had something left in him after his defeat and humiliation, then so do I – a Christ-covered, blood-bought child of the living God.

If David had more victories to win, albeit it at painful cost, then so do I.

By the grace of God I am what I am. And His grace to me will not be in vain.

I am not the man I woke up remembering this morning.

And I am not the man I am yet to become by his still-transforming grace and love.

The next time you wake up in a mental museum, make sure you know who your tour guide is. You may think you’re looking at facts, when all you’re truly seeing is a freak show – and he’s telling you the lie that you’re the freak.

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You’re Not a Legalist, Are You?

Andy Wood — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:58:39 +0000

In your Christian practice, do you find yourself drawn more toward law-based living or more to grace-based living?

Students in a class I teach deal with that discussion question. I always look forward to their answers. Nearly all of these students are pretty seasoned in their faith, so the overwhelmingly most popular answer is grace-based living. After all, that’s the “correct” one, right?

Nobody ever gets misty-eyed in church singing, “Amazing Law, how sweet the sound…

There are, of course, some brave souls who cop to law-based living. Some do it as an aw-shucks-pray-for-me kind of confession. Some try to reframe the question. “I prefer to think of it as obedience,” one student said recently. I like that.

Others crawfish a little more and ask questions like, “Now what do you mean by that?”

See, nobody wants to admit they’re a legalist. Legalists are the people Jesus reamed out repeatedly. Legalists are mean-spirited, proud isolationists. They’re judgmental, hypocritical, inflexible, unaccepting bigots. They’d leave their own mother standing in the rain or let your cat starve to death to avoid violating one of the rules.

Right?

But wait a minute. Doesn’t the Bible also speak a lot about keeping God’s commandments? Try the whole book of 1 John, for crying out loud. Jesus Himself said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” And He said it more than once in a variety of ways. If that’s not mixing a little law in there, what is it?

And for people who are right-handed and left-brained (I hear there are a lot of them), isn’t it OK to add a little structure to your obedience? A few clearly-defined steps or methods? (Don’t we have a whole denomination or two built around methods?)

But legalists? Noooooo. Nevah.

But the fact is, legalists do exist, and they’re among us. And you could be one. But since the first sign of a legalist is that they’re blind to that beam in their eye, I made up a little test to help you detect whether you are one. It’s deliciously unscientific. Take it if you dare.

1. Do you tithe down to the last penny?

Legalism is calculated Christianity. It measures everything. The Pharisees even paid tithes on the herbs they grew (Matthew 23:23). The problem isn’t with tithing; it’s with assuming that once the tithe is paid, the rest belongs to us. Or that we neglect justice and mercy – the “weightier matters” Jesus spoke of.

2. Do you keep records, mental or otherwise, of your service to God?

Remember what the older brother said in the story of the Prodigal Son? He’d kept a record of years served, goats killed in his honor, and probably a list of deeds done. Legalists do that. Sort of like keeping a religious resume.

3. Is it important to you that other people know how much you do for the church or the Kingdom?

Obedience and service is important. But the pride that drives legalism wants to be seen and noticed (Matthew 6:1-17). Here’s an easy way to tell: Do you get your feelings hurt when someone doesn’t notice what you have done for the church or for God?

4. Do you apply the convicting preaching or teaching you hear to someone else?

Legalists think things like, “I hope they heard that,” or, “Too bad he isn’t here to hear that.” After all, when you’re self-righteous, conviction doesn’t apply to you.

5. Do you find yourself comparing your spiritual life with that of others?

Remember the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican (Luke 18:9-14)? Legalists measure worth by performance. So they keep score somehow. Their heroes are the high-octane doers in Church World who are always doing great deeds for God. Their pride gets fed by comparing themselves to the sinners and scoundrels – and they are good at finding them.

6. Are you disappointed, critical, or “concerned” about people who don’t have the same disciplines or convictions that you do?

Like it or not, the Bible doesn’t prescribe specifics in some areas. It gives you freedom to apply principles and convictions that serve your spiritual growth, but that may not be what someone else chooses. Just don’t tell the legalist. If he’s not supposed to drink alcohol, you aren’t either. If he follows the liturgical calendar, you should, too.

7. Can you “discern” the quality of a person’s spiritual life by the way they act?

It’s one thing to be on your guard about false teachers (Matthew 7:16). It’s another to presume to know the motives or contents of a person’s heart. The word for that is judging.

8. Do you often get into arguments or “deep discussions” about the Bible?

A legalist will not let what they perceive to be an error pass them by. They simply have to address it. Classic example: Miracles are flying everywhere, and the Pharisees are lost in the horror that Jesus did his miracle working on the Sabbath. He violated the rules, and that’s what they wanted to argue about. Seriously? With the Guy with the power to heal a gnarled hand?

9. Do you have a hard time unconditionally forgiving the failures of others, or of understanding God’s unconditional forgiveness of them?

Legalists love the idea of penance – doing something to earn forgiveness. And everybody knows that three strikes and you’re out, right? It’s right there in the legalists’ bible. But it isn’t in the real Bible. Forgiveness isn’t earned; otherwise it wouldn’t be forgiveness.

10. Do you use the Bible to determine what God can and can’t do?

Careful here. God gave us His word to reveal His heart and plan – to speak to us today. He didn’t do it so you could put Him in a convenient little box. Because He is a God of truth He would never violate His word. But He’ll gladly violate your interpretation of it. Just ask Peter. Or Paul. Or John. Or whoever wrote Hebrews. But legalists won’t blush at saying things like, “God would never…” Or “God doesn’t _________ anymore, even though He did it in the Bible.”

Again, this isn’t scientific. Just look for patterns. And if you find yourself with that uncomfortable feeling that you just may be a legalist, spend some time reading and studying Philippians 3. Good help there from a recovering legalist.

Oh… and don’t get too nosey about how I might know all this stuff. I might have to judge you or something.

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Leading Your Organization Through Conflict

Andy Wood — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:20:33 +0000

The call or opportunity to lead is a call or opportunity for conflict. I doubt if I’m the first to tell you that, but if so, well, sorry. That’s certainly true on an interpersonal or team level. It’s also true organization-wide. Whether you’re leading a church or a business, a nonprofit or an institution, a state or a nation, the bigger they are, the harder they brawl. Or squall.

If your goal is to avoid conflict at all costs, let somebody else take the leadership roles, because what you’re saying is that you don’t want to influence anybody.

Assuming you’re still reading, let’s assume that the idea of conflict hasn’t scared you off – at least not yet. I have good news. Some of the greatest demonstrations of leadership in history took place when someone rose to face the challenge of seemingly impossible conflicts. So if your organization is facing competing values and visions, wise leadership can help make it stronger and more successful than ever. If it’s true that conflict is the moment of truth in any relationship (and I think it is), then the way you lead your organization to face those conflicts sets the course of the organization, sometimes for years.

It’s important to remember that the people in your organization have brains, hearts, and feelings, just as you do. Resistance to your or the organization’s direction is a way of saying you haven’t communicated the vision clearly. Or maybe you haven’t anticipated their objections or their priorities. Maybe you have yet to earn the trust of the people. Or maybe they are insecure in the roles in which you are asking them to perform.

Here are five ways to work with – not against – the members of your organization to turn conflicts into jumping off points.

1. Harness the power of shared vision.

Everybody loves vision. Vision is exotic – romantic, in a leading kind of way. Vision is the mind’s version of the grand adventure. People want to be part of something bigger than they are. Vision is where that first happens.

Just one problem. If the leader’s vision isn’t accompanied by buy-in from constituents, then it won’t take the organization very far. In fact, if you don’t get them to buy into your vision, then you already have a conflict, even if nobody’s admitting it yet.

I think it’s time to admit a dirty little organizational secret. Vision is not the exclusive property of leaders alone. Nearly everybody has an idea of how tomorrow can be better than today in your organization. I wonder what would happen if leaders actually had a few meaningful conversations and listened to someone else’s ideas.

One of my favorite quotes of all time came from a full page ad in the Wall Street Journal back in the 80s, when Shearson-Lehman merged with American Express. The ad read,

Vision is having an acute sense of the possible. It is seeing what others cannot see. And when those with similar vision are drawn together, something extraordinary occurs.

It certainly does. When in the earliest movements of an organization’s life you can get hearts and minds together on the same vision, then the only thing left to disagree on is how to fulfill the vision.

2. Plan to avoid conflict… by planning… to have conflict.

One sure way to be undermined by conflict is to let it blow you out of the water when it happens. Far better to plan ahead. Make the conflict happen in the planning room rather than in the field. Conflicts on paper or in planning sessions may cost some time; conflict in the field or the church or the community can destroy your organization.

Ask the hard questions – heck, pay somebody to ask you the hard questions that may affect your business or church 5-10 years from now. Work out the answers between all the groups that will be affected by these potential problems. If you don’t have some conflict – at least on paper – in a strategic planning meeting, then you aren’t planning very well.

When you plan, create a process where bad ideas can crash and burn in the planning environment rather than in the real world. Once you identify what the organization is trying to accomplish, develop strategies for how you are going to get there with the least amount of conflict or danger for the organization. Identify the possible danger zones, then figure out the best way to deal with these issues. A healthy organization creates the freedom for members to voice their concerns or objections without fear of punishment or backlash.

3. Build strong teams by putting the “right people on the right seats of the bus.”

Having the right people in the right place at the right time is very important to the leader’s and the organization’s success. Organizational conflict may well be the result of good people in bad places in your organization. Sometimes it’s the result of having poisonous people in the organization at all. Then sometimes it’s just that team members aren’t functioning as a team.

Sometimes you have existing people that just need to be moved into the right area for them to excel for you or the organization. Sometimes, as my friend Steve likes to say, it’s time to “free them to explore new opportunities elsewhere.”

Always, however, the leader’s job is to make sure teams function as teams, where everyone has his role to fill, his voice to find, and his battle to fight (motivation). No one person has the perfect answer to anything. The best answers usually come from engagement, listening, constructive feedback, and looking at each negotiation as a chance to help others as well as yourself come up with positive solutions. The opposite of “team” is when a couple of people do the work and everybody else rubber-stamps their efforts and takes credit for them. Or when team members aren’t given a real say in the functioning or development of the group.

4. Build a high-trust culture that deals with problems and conflicts in a spirit of trust and community.

As mentioned in a previous post, this involves integrity, transparency, and accountability.

Integrity is when the leader lives by – and leads by – the values espoused by the organization.

Transparency means creating an open environment where your financial records and decisions are on display, and others can see through your organization and the decisions you make. An open environment that people fill they can approach leaders without fear. When your employees start whispering at the water cooler and wondering what’s next, you don’t have transparency, and you don’t have trust.

Accountability involves leaders who accept responsibility for the organization and its actions. They publicly disclose their actions, beliefs and decisions to those they lead. They explain what they are doing and why.

People won’t always agree with your leadership decisions. But they will willingly follow and do their part when they know they can trust you and the organization.

5. Fight the good fight.

Every organization has adversaries and competitors… and it’s not always who you assume it to be. Every organization should also have causes and a vision worth fighting or standing for. But there are effective and ineffective ways of doing that.

Do you know who your organization’s real competition is? Who its adversaries are? In Church World, for example, it’s a huge mistake to think of other churches as the competition. The real adversaries are whatever interferes with the faithfulness of the people. Usually that has something to do with entertainment or recreation. Southwest Airlines may advertise their free baggage handling as a poke at other air carriers. But their real competition is driving.

Does your organization have a cause? A galvanizing vision that would rally “warriors” in the organization to fight for the cause and not with each other? If your vision doesn’t awaken the warrior instinct among your “troops” because it isn’t important enough or challenging enough, then go back to step one and start over.

But assuming that is in place, then it’s incumbent on you, the leader, to have a strategy for effectively dealing with internal conflicts when they occur – especially when the conflict is with you. And if your only answer to that question uses the words “my way” and “highway,” you may be the boss, but you are no leader.

It’s an old definition of friendship – the friend is the one who walks in when everybody else is walking out. That’s true, not just of friends of people, but friends of the organization as well. And I think it’s a good defining moment for leadership. Leaders are the ones who, when organizations are at a standstill and people are bailing because of conflict, can actually walk in and make a difference. And your organization’s impossible-looking situation may well be the breeding ground for fresh leadership to emerge.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if you were that leader?

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The Way Back

Andy Wood — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 08:04:47 +0000

Perdido Key, Florida. I was in a hotel room, desperately reading my Bible, even more desperately crying out to God. Somewhere along the way I had, well, lost my way. And I couldn’t find my way back.

Back to a consistently focused walk with God.

Back to a first-love commitment to Jesus.

Back to a sense of spiritual usefulness and power.

Back to a faith that could at least move me, even when it couldn’t move mountains.

Back to the hope that somehow tomorrow could actually be better than today.

I could have told you how to find your way back to wherever you left your path. But I was lost as last year’s Easter egg when it came to me.

I heard all the things I already knew in my head. Didn’t help.

I heard all the platitudes and steps and methods I’d told others and they had told me. Ditto.

I heard all the sermons I had preached to others about coming back to Jesus, and they were profoundly useless to me.

And what I was reading in the Bible wasn’t helping much, either. I kept reading passages in psalms where David would pray things like, “Vindicate me, O God, because I have walked in my integrity.”

I didn’t have any integrity. And the last thing I needed to see in that situation was vindication. Justice either.

In desperation I silently cried out, “God! Is there a verse in there for the rest of us?”

And He showed me something that changed my life.

He took me to a passage that, when I read it, I just had to read it again, and again, and again. As I read it, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Wave after wave of grace began to sweep over me. And in His faithfulness and love, the Holy Spirit began to turn a light on and show me the way home.

I had hope again.

I had help.

For the first time in months I felt as though I had life surging through my veins.

I began to see truth I had glossed over because I never really needed to see it before. I felt as though I was taken back to the kindest, gentlest of schools and given a lifetime scholarship.

I would like to share with you what the Lord shared with me that day, and the many days following as He continued to unpack the meaning of two simple verses. Of all people, they came from a prophet – a man of God! – who had stumbled badly. Read them… and let them read you:

Do not rejoice over me, my enemy;

When I fall, I will arise;

When I sit in darkness,

The LORD will be a light to me.

I will bear the indignation of the LORD,

Because I have sinned against Him,

Until He pleads my case

And executes justice for me.

He will bring me forth to the light;

I will see His righteousness (Micah 7:8-9, NKJV).

If you take your relationship with God seriously,you need to remember two things. First, you are in a war. The Christian life isn’t all green pastures and still waters. There are important reasons that Paul and others repeatedly used warfare imagery to describe the life of a Christ follower. And if that offends you, go ahead and wave the white flag now; you’re already beaten.

Second, chances are, sooner or later, you are going to be wounded in that battle. One day you are going to be too careless, too proud, or too unguarded, and the arrows of the enemy are going to land in you. And the more convinced you are of your own strength, the harder you will land when you hit the ground.

What I began to learn that day is that the measure of a Christian is not whether or not they ever fall. The measure of a Christian is what they do when they’re on the ground, bleeding from the attacks of the enemy, with no one to blame but themselves.

Anybody can punch out at that point. Anybody can crawl into a cave of despair or shame. But what I learned day after day in that hotel room is that Jesus died for “Christian” failures just like me. Oh, and you, too.

A Way to Remember the Way Home

As the truth behind Micah’s declaration began to unfold, I asked the Lord for a way to remember what He was teaching me so I could light the way home for others. He was gracious, and here is what I learned, based on this passage. I encourage you to memorize this:

I’m gonna get up when I get knocked down.

I’m gonna be led when I cannot see.

I’m gonna face up to the way I’ve sinned.

And the Lord’s gonna win the fight for me.

In the next post I will dig a little deeper and hopefully shine a little brighter light on the way back.

Why?

Because you need it. Now or later.

Because I know what I’m talking about. I’ve lived it. And I’m here to tell you your life does not have to be measured by your wounds or your failures.

Because I don’t want to see yet another believer left wounded on the battlefield with nobody to help.

Because I don’t ever want to have another friend look at me and say, as one did recently, “I know my life isn’t all God wants it to be, but I don’t know how to find my way back.”

Because I’m sick to death of the Christian army shooting its own wounded.

Years ago, in his first solo album, Steve Green recorded a song that now you have to dig a little to find. But find it I did, and I wanted you to hear it. It’s called “Wounded Soldier” and you can hear it here. I also printed the lyrics below.

Listen. With your heart. Pray. Someone near you has gone down in the battle, and they’ve lost their way.

Next time, it could be you.

Wounded Soldier

See all the wounded

Hear all their desperate cries for help.

Pleading for shelter and for peace

Our comrades are suffering –

Come let us meet them at their need

Don’t let a wounded soldier die

Come let us pour the oil

Come let us bind the hurt

Let’s cover them with the blanket of His love

Come let us break the bread

Come let us give them rest

Let’s minister healing to them

Don’t let another wounded soldier die.

Obeying their orders,

They fought on the fronlines for our King

Capturing the enemy’s stronghold

Weakened from battle,

Satan crept in to steal their lives

Don’t let a wounded soldier die.

Come let us pour the oil

Come let us bind the hurt

Let’s cover them with the blanket of His love

Come let us break the bread

Come let us give them rest

Let’s minister healing to them

Don’t let another wounded soldier die.

Let’s minister healing to them

Don’t let another wounded soldier die.

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What You Can Learn From a Ghost House

Andy Wood — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:04:23 +0000

I don’t know what else to call them. But if they were all in the same vicinity or neighborhood, they’d be part of a ghost town. They’re usually uninhabitable, with windows and doors gone or broken, and the roof letting in morning sunshine.

There’s at least one near you somewhere, but it may not be as easy to see as the hundreds that dot the wide open landscape near where I live.

Abandoned, but never empty. For lack of a better term, I call them ghost houses.

Not haunted houses, though I’d rather not wander into one of these things after dark. Broad open daylight either, for that matter.

Once upon a time these places provided a home for families. Now they sit empty. Sometimes the reason is obvious; sometimes it doesn’t make sense at all. Just in the last week I’ve seen several once-lovely and spacious homes now left to the elements, vandals, and critters.

Maybe someone died, and left no heir. Maybe business dried up or sold out and forced a move. Maybe the place got tied up in some sort of disagreement in court or with a bank.

Regardless, the end result is the same – empty, eroding testaments to lost usefulness and life.

Oh, if they could talk! Oh, if they could teach us!

Call me weird (okay, who said that?). But what started as a years-long fascination has led me to visit and photograph over 200 of these old places over the last week. Most were houses. But there are also old stores, gas stations, barns, schools, and even a few abandoned churches.

Some are part of the three certifiable ghost towns I’ve visited (a story for another day). Most stand alone on the edge of town or in the middle of nowhere.

Nobody built one of these planning for them to sit desolate. But sit they do. And while the ghost houses have lost their primary purpose because nobody can actually live or work in them anymore, they being dead still speak.

And no, they’re not hollering, “Boo!”

They’re teaching some powerful lessons that speak to us as individuals and leaders, churches and organizations.

The walls are talking, friends. Maybe it’s time to listen.

1. Change happens – deal with it or die.

Without exception, every one of these structures is the victim of a change. Maybe it was a change in ownership, or a change in sociology. Maybe it was a change in the economy or a change in family dynamics. Regardless of the specifics, a ghost house became a ghost house when the change happened and there was no more vision for how the house fit in to the change.

You may have gotten laid off for the same reason. I’m sorry. Now deal with it.

You may have experienced something like this when the doctor told you to retire before you were ready.

You may have experienced that when a new sheriff (or pastor or supervisor or principal or teacher or CEO) came to town. Yeah, I know you miss Brother Bodacious or Sister Awesome. Send ‘em some pecans for Christmas. Meanwhile, you need to adjust to the changes that are presenting themselves to you or you could be the next casualty.

2. Be a solution to someone else’s need.

Ghost houses sit empty because there is no demand for them – they aren’t the solution to anybody’s problem or the fulfillment of anybody’s dream anymore.

That doesn’t have to happen to you. It doesn’t have to happen to your business or church. But it will happen unless you recognize that what people needed in the 1970s is different from the questions they asked in the 1980s is very different from the challenges they faced in the 1990s. And your awesome answers from back in the day may no longer be meeting the needs or answering the questions people are asking today.

I’m not talking about changing your truth claims. But I am talking about taking a ruthless look at your methods. Otherwise, you or your organization may be the next ghost house.

3. Home is where the people are – houses are just a shell.

Nobody ever bought a home. The realtors just tell you that because it helps sell houses. Homes are made by the people who occupy them. The good news is that a lost house doesn’t have to mean a lost home.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a bit of sadness for some of the ghost houses I saw. At one place they left so fast they left the children’s swing sets, a riding mower and a trampoline – all signs of life.

But the real life was found in the inhabitants.

In a similar vein, your body functions as a shell container for the real you. And yet we sometimes get our priorities out of whack when it comes to what’s most important. We can spend hours and dollars on the shell (body), but neglect the soul – the real you.

And don’t get me started on church buildings. I’ve been in places that treated the structure like a sanitized palace, to the neglect of the people inside (or in the neighborhood). And like the Taj Mahal, without a change, the church building will soon become a tomb.

4. There’s something to be said for maintenance.

This is the balance to the previous point. The ghost houses are falling apart because of neglect. The same could be said about your body or your facility. And often neglect of the shell is a reflection of a much deeper problem.

I’ll bet you can tell which of the restaurants in your town will go out of business next. Usually it’s the one that neglects the upkeep of the building the most. Why? Because it’s often that the business is in trouble.

Maintenance of your “shell” is a reflection of your self-respect. Or lack thereof. And if you don’t respect yourself…

5. Life goes on, with you or without you.

I never saw the first ghost house with a line of people standing outside, wishing they could get in. Life and the world of houses moved on and left them behind.

The same could be said about you, your organization, or your leadership. You are not immortal. You are not irreplaceable. But that’s not to say you are not important. Your task and mine is to see to it that we make ourselves necessary and align ourselves with the needs and opportunities that present themselves today, and the ones that may appear on the horizon tomorrow.

6. Failure to plan for a successor can leave a house (or an organization) empty.

Somebody lived in the ghost houses for the last time. When they left, there was no successor. There may be good reasons for that, as in the case around here when the family farm was sold to a corporate operation. But whatever the reason, the houses began decaying the minute the last occupant left.

If your goal is to sustain your church, business, or nonprofit, you’d better know where it’s headed after the current administration is history. You don’t have to select the next leader. But you do have to equip somebody in the organization to do it.

**7. In a free society, failure is always an option.**

I kept wondering as I passed the farm houses – Is this the result of somebody leaving wealthy because they sold out, or the result of somebody leaving broke because they bottomed out? Either way, you have free enterprise and capitalism to thank or blame.

The alternative: Let the government own all the houses. Or at least step in and bail out the ghost houses. Or ghost car manufacturers. Or ghost banks. Sorry… got distracted.

Opportunity to succeed must not come at the expense of protection from all risk. It doesn’t work in economics. It doesn’t work in business. And it certainly doesn’t work in raising a family.

I knew very little about the stories behind the ghost houses. But one thing I did know. Call it cruel or harsh, but some of these houses were empty because somebody failed, and the government or family wasn’t there to pick them up. Should they have been? I guess it depends on what sort of economic system you want – one that limits the upside and protects everybody’s downside, or one that leaves the results to hard work, creativity, industry, and this thing called “the market.”

Oh, if these walls could talk! Come to think of it, I think they have been.

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The Wall

Andy Wood — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 18:06:39 +0000

I once read that among those who run in marathon races, somewhere around the 18th mile to the 22nd mile of that 26-mile run, the runner hits “The Wall.”

(That’s about as close as I’ll ever get to a marathon, other than the three days I just hiked through the Disney jungle, but I digress…)

The Wall is a place so hard that the runner thinks he or she can’t possibly continue the race. It’s a little uncertain whether The Wall is physical or psychological, but it’s real. And the temptation to drop out of the race is greater at this point than at any time in the race. The runner feels he can’t make it. The lungs burn, the heart pounds, and the runner fights dizziness and nausea. A little voice begins to whisper (or scream), “Why torture yourself?”

You may not run 26-mile marathons, but if you are a follower of Christ, that fact alone means you are in an endurance race. And you can expect at times to encounter “The Wall.”

You will find The Wall when you have tried time after time to pray consistently, and have failed.

You will encounter The Wall when you have fallen over the same temptation for the umpteenth time.

You will find The Wall when your heart is divided between God’s best and Satan’s compromise.

You will find The Wall when you are buried by financial pressure. Loneliness. Job disappointments. Failures by your children. Betrayal by your closest friends. Rejection by people you love. Extended physical illness or pain. A climate of chronic fear and worry.

In her classic, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life, Hannah Whitehall Smith talks about The Wall. She says that

one of the most fatal things in the life of faith is discouragement; one of the most helpful is confidence. A very wise man once said that in overcoming temptations confidence was the first thing, confidence the second, and confidence the third. We must expect to conquer. That is why the Lord said so often to Joshua, “Be strong and of a good courage;” “Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed;” “Only be thou strong and very courageous.” And it is also the reason He says to us, “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” THE POWER OF TEMPTATION IS IN THE FAINTING OF OUR OWN HEARTS” (emphasis mine).

Learn to recognize The Wall for what it is. It is a barrier, a fortress, a stronghold of Satan designed not only to stop us from advancing, but also to take back the ground we have already gained. That is why Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5,

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

If you have encountered The Wall and been defeated by it, it’s time for a counterattack. It’s time to thump the devil’s rump!

It’s time to wait on (attend to) the Lord, so He can renew your strength (Isaiah 40:31).

It’s time to put on the whole armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil (Ephesians 6:10).

It’s time to get some help from some other believers who love you and don’t want to see you quit.

It’s time to get your eyes back on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).

Hang in there! It ain’t over yet!

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Turning Enemies Into Allies

Andy Wood — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 12:58:11 +0000

Have you ever been in a situation where somebody hated you just for showing up? Maybe you did something really stupid or offensive. Maybe they hate everybody who shows up. Maybe they’re picking up somebody else’s offense or acting out long-held prejudices. Regardless of what set it off, the bottom line is, they don’t like you.

And what’s not to like, right?

Everybody with any intelligence can see how awesome you are. And yet some arrogant bozo (or bozette) won’t give you the time of day. Or worse, is outwardly hostile.

What do you do?

Do you out-hostile them? Or practice your own version of the Cold War?

Do you fire up your iPod with your favorite Willie Whiner and His All-Reject Orchestra tunes and have a pity party?

Do you ask God to whup ‘em or smite ‘em?

Or do you use this as an occasion to facilitate growth, understanding, renewal, and – dare I say it? – respect and friendship?

Don’t Be Shocked That You Have Enemies

I’m a people pleaser (surprise, surprise) and I really want people to like me. So it always comes as something of a shock or disappointment when they don’t. Unless, of course, I’ve done something to deserve it. But even then, I’m quick to apologize, so that makes everything all right, doesn’t it?

Um, no. And it took me a long time to accept that. I still don’t like it. But the truth is, the broken world we live in will always provide a steady stream of applicants for the job of your main pain.

Doesn’t matter how innocent you are.

Doesn’t matter how guilty you are.

Walk in the Spirit – you’ll have enemies. Walk in the flesh – you’ll have enemies.

Sit down for this one… Walk in the church house – you’ll have enemies.

Avoid church like the plague – you’ll have enemies.

Enemies are like ants. Stomp on their nest and you’ll really make them angry. But leave them completely alone, and they’ll still come crawling into your life.

Why Does This Even Matter?

So why not just fight fire with fire? Out-hustle the hostile?

That’s certainly an option, and some people choose it. And they die sooner, fail more, and live with a sourer disposition and gloomy outlook in the process.

They also miss some important opportunities along the way. What if I were to tell you that your greatest potential for reward required that you go through your enemies to get it? What if I were to tell you that your ability to make peace revealed more Christ-like character than any other one thing you could possibly do?

I find it interesting that the most hated Man who ever lived was also the most loving Man who ever lived. And He made it clear – character is measured, not by how you treat those who love you, but by how you respond to those who don’t.

Building Bridges Instead of Walls

Here are some ideas, based on scripture and my own experience, for kindling love and respect in your relationships with hostile people:

1. Don’t rush it. This is where some people pleasers mess up right off the bat. In an effort to fix things quickly, they rush in like a bull in a china shop with an ice floor. But like a treasure hidden in a block of ice, some things just need time to thaw. Give it time. Give God time.

2. Look for common ground. Look for points of agreement, or a language of common value, and use it. In the majority of situations, you may be surprised to find that you have more in common with your enemy than you know, and certainly more than you have differences. This common ground may be ideas, opinions, experiences, or shared interests.

3. Live out the higher values of the person who despises you. This is especially true if you have offended someone through some sort of personal failure. If they hate hypocrites, for example, here’s a thought: Don’t be one. If they value faithfulness or integrity, spend lots of time modeling this. Don’t compromise your relationship with God at this point, but look for what constitutes the noblest of your enemy’s values, and as much as you can, live them.

4. Allow for social time to practice being nice. Look for opportunities to see them in public (much as you may dread it). And for crying out loud, be nice when you do see them. Speak kindly, act graciously, serve when possible, love always.

5. Allow yourself to be needed by them. People’s hearts turn when they are allowed to serve or to act kindly in the areas where they do it best. That may mean their place of business or some other area of expertise. Ask for help, or for advice. Their anger may still be smoldering on the inside, but their (good kind of) pride will do the talking on the outside.

6. Cultivate a life of pleasing God. “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7). Focus on what you have the most control over, which is your own growth, healing, and finding ways to remain faithful. Over time, even the hardest of relationships can come around.

7. Look for ways to meet a need of theirs in kindness. Proverbs 25:21-22 says, “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the Lord will reward you.” Acting in kindness means meeting the need because it is a need, not to create a sense of obligation in them. But kindness expressed on that level can actually create a sense of obligation to rethink their opinion of you.

8. Speak well of them. “Bless those who curse you,” Jesus said. To bless is to speak well of, and it is a powerful force in bringing healing to a relationship.

9. Pray for them and about the relationship. Jesus specifically said to pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44). Sometimes that changes them. Always, it changes you.

10. Have the courage to ask God to show you your own blind spots. Often in our fixation of how mean an opponent is, we lose focus on what Jesus called the “log in our own eye” (Matthew 7:3). Maybe someone doesn’t like you because you’re rude or insensitive or completely unaware of how you come across. Time for some eye-opening, and maybe some knee-walking or forgiveness seeking.

Reconciled enemies don’t often become best friends. But they can become trusted allies and sources of great value to you as you seek to create a compelling future. In all your investing of time, talent, and treasure, I dare you… invest in an enemy or two. You’ll be amazed at the return on your investment.

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It’s Time for a Counterattack

Andy Wood — Sat, 14 May 2011 16:14:13 +0000

Pssst.

Hey.

Yes, you.

We need to talk. Really I need to talk and you need to just shut up and listen. I don’t mean to be mean. But the most elite fighting force in heaven or on earth is spread all around you. Their shields are up, and nothing can penetrate them. Their swords are drawn, and no force in hell or on earth can resist them. And they’re on your side.

And they’re doing absolutely nothing.

Just watching you get your brains beat out by an enemy that is smarter, craftier, and more powerful than you are.

And all the while you’re exhausted and taking it on the chin and coming back for more and you’re making a fool of yourself and you’re just about to hang it up and you’re getting sucked in by those old temptations and your friends have hurt your feelings and you are wounded and joyless and helpless and hopeless and scared and a shell of the person you once were and you’d think that the Lord would send them into battle on your behalf.

But there. They. Stand. Shields up. Swords Drawn. And not flapping the first angelic wing to help you.

Know why?

You won’t let them.

And pardon my saying so (or don’t pardon it, I don’t really care), but you’re an idiot. Not because you tried to do God’s job – you know, saving yourself and figuring out solutions to your own problems. But because you keep trying to do God’s job.

Dough-head.

You’re welcome.

You’re bleeding out, pal, and all the while you’re lying there, trying to figure out what to eat for supper or how to pay the bills or how to get out of that pit you’re in. After all, “If it’s to be, it’s up to thee,” right?

(Sigh…)

Meanwhile, the hits just keep on coming…

…the deception and lies, starting with worthless fabrications about who you really are…

…the constant reminders of your past failures – sometimes turning to accuse you, sometimes returning to seduce you…

…the unhealed pain from people who have scared or scarred you as they fought against you…

…the relationship or financial entanglements that choke the life and freedom out of you…

…the relentless messages from the wellspring of wickedness firing off in your head: “This is hopeless. I am hopeless” …

…the fierce, but futile determination to find your own way to fix yourself or fix the situation or fix that person you love…

Did you really think that all that was random? Life just “happening?” Think again. It’s a coordinated attack, based on a tried-and-true scheme. And at the risk of sounding like I’m piling on, it’s working. You’re in the grasp of the ruthless.

Swords drawn, shields up, the army stands on high alert while you sleep and heaven weeps.

A Different Plan of Attack

Let me put a different kind of sword in your hand. Check this out:

The High and Lofty One lives forever, and his name is holy. This is what he says:

I live in a high and holy place.

But I am with those who are crushed and humble.

I will renew the spirit of those who are humble

and the courage of those who are crushed (Isaiah 57:15, NET).

All the while your enemy is haunting you and taunting you, the Omnipotent God of the Universe offers this public service announcement:

I’m still here.

I am your Truth, who defends you against the dark shadows of the lies you have been told.

I am your Righteousness, who has given you a new name and removed your past from you as far as the east is from the west.

I am your Peace, who has broken down every barrier and freed you from every attachment to a broken world.

I am your Faithful Friend and Trustworthy Companion, whom you can trust

I am your Hope for Salvation, who has removed any reason to despair or give up.

I am your living and powerful Word, sharper than any two-edged sword.

Do you believe that?

Isn’t it Time for Something Different?

Don’t you think it’s time for a counterattack?

Don’t you think it’s time to explore an alternative energy source (and I ain’t talking about windmills or cow chips)?

Don’t you think it’s time to swallow your pride, instead of the dirt you’ve had your face rubbed in?

Don’t you think it’s time to just go ahead and admit that the Lord Jesus is far more worthy of your trust than your broke-down self or your silly idols?

Don’t you think it’s time to put that armor back on?

Therefore thus says the Lord:

“If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me.

If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall be as my mouth.

They shall turn to you, but you shall not turn to them.

And I will make you to this people a fortified wall of bronze;

they will fight against you, but they shall not prevail over you,

for I am with you to save you and deliver you, declares the Lord.

I will deliver you out of the hand of the wicked,

and redeem you from the grasp of the ruthless”(Jeremiah 15:19-21, ESV)

This is a battle more won by where you stand than by what you do. The victory has more to do with what you declare in faith than what you can figure out. This is a fight where carnal weapons are like BB guns at Normandy – the weapons of choice are mighty through God.

Don’t you think it’s time to take back what is yours?

Don’t you think it’s time to ask God to redeem you from the grasp of the ruthless?

Where to Start?

I’m glad you asked. Start where the Lord said He would meet you – with humility. Offer to Him the one thing He wants from you – your nothingness. “I can’t do this” may sound like whining at the office. But in heaven, it’s music in God’s ears.

Return to the Lord. Stand before Him and utter what is precious. That sounds a lot like prayer, praise, and declaring His truth.

Speaking of declaring truth, it’s time to declare the core truth of Christianity – that you who were unrighteousness have been made righteous by the shed blood of Jesus Christ.

Get rid of whatever excess baggage you can. This may take time, but do something today, as He leads you.

Reestablish confidence in Jesus. That comes by hearing and receiving Jesus as your way, truth, and life today.

Then, shield of faith up… then, sword of the Spirit drawn…

Ask. Seek. Knock. Deploy. Advance. Prevail.

Yes, you.

I’m praying for you. Truly.

Thanks for listening. Now, you may not return to your regularly-scheduled programming.

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The World of Wordfare

Andy Wood — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 17:07:31 +0000

Six Signs of a Spiritual Attack

“Well, how did it go?” Robin wanted to know.

“I just want to be teachable,” I said in a hollow, measured voice.

“What did he say?” she asked – getting ready to rise up in my defense.

What did he say, indeed? The scene happened during my first pastorate. Our church had grown quickly and had experienced changes, which is never an easy thing. Now we were trying to establish our annual budget and define our biggest priorities. And a man I’ll call Joe wanted to know if he could meet with me.

When we got together, the first words out of Joe’s mouth were, “It is obvious that you aren’t here to help our church grow, but to make a name for yourself.”

Ouch.

I listened mostly (although I did tell him I didn’t appreciate him judging my motives). I listened as he talked about church’s former days. I listened as he talked about troublesome people. I listened as he offered his version of a solution to our problems. I listened (and stared, frankly) as he “led” us in prayer – weeping all the while.

And I went home, still listening.

I Hate Criticism.

For years I hollered to whoever would listen that “there’s no such thing as constructive criticism.”

I was wrong.

That said, nobody gets up in the morning hoping somebody will catch them red-handed being human. But if hearing what you don’t want to hear is the only way to help you get where you truly want to go, then it’s worth it in the long run.

Being attacked is another story, however.

“Attacked” is a word you’ll often hear to describe what’s taking place behind the scenes in somebody’s Christian experience.

“I’ve been under some real attacks lately.”

“Sounds like you’re being attacked by the enemy.”

In describing a recent experience that produced a lot of pain and anxiety, three different people said that to me. “This is warfare. You’re under attack.”

Was I? How could I know for sure? How could I know that this wasn’t “iron sharpening iron” or somebody “speaking the truth in love?” What if what one person called Satan was really God?

Same goes for my encounter with Joe back in the day. Was it a call from the Lord to be teachable, or an underhanded attack by the devil, using a church member as his tool?

The World of Wordfare

Like knives in a drawer, words can be used as a constructive tool or a destructive weapon. For example, Christian maturity and kingdom growth are the result of “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). One word from an empowered believer can “sustain the weary” (Isaiah 50:4). Words, though painful at times, are like prods that cause others to spring to action (Ecclesiastes 12:11).

On the other hand, followers of Jesus are engaged in an epic battle with the evil forces. Paul says that “we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12, NLT).

Their weapon of choice? Words.

In the hands of the enemy, words are arrows aimed at your heart (Psalm 64:3). Words of a gossip, while enticing, go deeply into your soul (Proverbs 18:8). Job said that the words of his fake friends were “like a mighty wind” (Job 8:2).

No wonder Proverbs 18:21 says that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” But it isn’t always easy to tell which – death or life – are contained in the words you hear. In the World of Wordfare, sometimes your friend appears to be your enemy and your enemy appears to be your friend.

Discerning the Source

How do you know the difference? How can you tell if the words of others are an arrow aimed at the soul or just an uncomfortable prod to get you moving? Here are some ways you can recognize an attack for what it is.

1. Look for the lie.

Good words aren’t always easy to hear; sometimes they hurt because the truth hurts!

Attacks are different. Attacks are either outright lies, or they feed into lies. Remember, Satan is the father of lies and a false accuser. He kicks the guilty when they’re down, accuses the innocent, and treats the forgiven as if they’re still under judgment.

2. Trace the target.

When someone needs to coach or correct, their words are often aimed at weaknesses – often weaknesses you are already aware of. The aim, of course, is to encourage improvement in those areas of weakness.

The enemy, on the other hand attacks at your point of confidence because that’s where your greatest reward comes from (Hebrews 10:35). Example: If you believe yourself to be a person of integrity, Satan will attack your integrity in a way that will cause you or others to question it. Remember, you don’t have to lose your integrity to lose confidence in it.

3. Inspect the fruit.

Gracious words, even when dealing with sensitive subjects, are intended to build up. When someone encourages you to grow or change, it can be uncomfortable or even distressing. But the end result is sure to be something you are grateful for.

Attacks, on the other hand, are meant to tear down. Do you know people who can only seem to feel good about themselves when they’re putting others down? Whatever else they may be, they are tools of Satan. Respond accordingly.

4. Identify the focus.

Healthy conviction is aimed at behavior. If someone criticizes something you did or should have done, you should take a hard look at it. Even if their communication is clumsy, you could be on the receiving end of some truly constructive criticism.

Attacks are aimed at you. At the kind of person you are. They question or presume upon your motives. They use words like “always” and “never” to define you. Attacks are greased by labels aimed at cheapening your value. Pick one – fool, idiot, lazy, slob, whore, thief, incompetent, any word containing “ass” – all these and more are weapons formed against you.

5. Sniff out jealousy.

Love fuels corrective words; attacks are fueled by jealousy. Of course, nobody ever admits they’re jealous. But remember, Satan’s fall grew out of jealous ambition to have what God alone had – the authority and glory of heaven. And now he’s jealous of what you have – the unmerited favor and unconditional love of God. He can’t steal that from you. But he can and will use people’s words to cause you to question it.

6. Take the torment test.

Godly rebuke, however painful at first, produces growth, reconciliation, and peace. Attacks produce fear and anxiety. That’s why John says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18, NIV).

Though sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference, there is a difference between honest conflict and spiritual attacks – between tension and terror. Tension may produce frustration and pain, but it almost always has some form of possible resolution. But when you find yourself worried over imagined outcomes, or paralyzed by fear from moving forward with your life, this is not a people problem. Recognize who the real enemy – the ultimate terrorist – is.

Responding to Attacks

The reason it’s so important to discern between criticism and spiritual attacks is that the responses are completely different. The godly response to criticism is to humble yourself, apologize if needed, get teachable, and often change course.

The response to attacks is to stay the course, and let God do your fighting for you. Whipping the devil is not in your job description. Standing against him, however, and resisting him, is.

And what of those people who are his tools? Love them. Forgive them. Pray for them. Speak well of them. And remember who the real enemy is.

+++++++

Remember Joe? I went to the Lord and asked, “What do I do with this?” And He led me to this scripture:

Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals

And brings out a weapon for its work;

And I have created the destroyer to ruin.

No weapon that is formed against you will prosper;

And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn.

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,

And their vindication is from Me,” declares the Lord (Isaiah 54:16-17).

“Andy,” He said. ”It was of me that he came. But what he had to say was not.”

Through that experience, the Lord taught me two things. First, HE sovereignly creates the fire that forms the weapons aimed against me. That builds character.

Second, HE makes sure that the weapons formed against me (specifically the “tongue that accuses me in judgment”) wont prosper. That, He said, is your heritage. And your vindication is from Me.

That was true back then. It’s still true today. For me. And for you.