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Rejoicing and Weeping and Why it Matters

Andy Wood — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:56:48 +0000

Tucked inside a rapid-fire to-do list in the Bible is simply-carved roadmap into the hearts of other people. After Paul suggests how believers can get along with their persecutors, and before he suggests how we can get along with other believers (that’s a much longer suggestion), he gives this encouragement:

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep”(Romans 12:15).

A simple phrase. But a world of meaning packed in these simple instructions.

No Distinction

Interesting. There is no distinction made in this verse between believers and unbelievers. Most people assume he’s directing his instructions to other believers for the sake of other believers. But the only thing that distinguishes people in these words are those who rejoice, and those who mourn.

Jesus once said that God makes the rain fall on the just and the unjust. So a tornado rips through a place where we used to live. People are rejoicing because they are safe and their kids are safe. People are weeping because their homes are destroyed. In either case, nobody’s checking the membership rolls of the area churches. It’s just a community of weepers and rejoicers. And what gives you access into their lives is your willingness to invest in their weeping and rejoicing with some weeping and rejoicing of your own.

We Have a Model

It’s notable that Jesus practiced this, to the extent that he was both praised and villified for it. He went to weddings and feasts, and wept at the tomb of Lazarus. He was moved with compassion over the sufferings of the multitudes. As an expression of fellowship, as with his friends at Bethany, he drew them to himself by being fully present with their joy and pain.

As a witnessing tool, Jesus used this simple strategy to draw the lost to him in an unprecedented way. Israel had demonstrated two extremes in its history – rejoice with the pagans and celebrate their sin, or separate from the pagans and hate the sinner. Jesus entered into the joys and sorrows of the lost, yet without sin. And in doing so, he won their hearts.

Beyond Yourself

This calls every believer to get outside himself or herself. What do you do when you feel bad physically, and somebody calls rejoicing over some good news? How do you respond when someone is selected for a position or prize that you wanted? How do you come down from the stratosphere when you’re rejoicing and you encounter someone who is brokenhearted?

It’s the fundamental first step in discipleship – we deny ourselves (Luke 9:23). We set aside our own feelings and opinions (without invalidating or abandoning them) to enter into the feelings of others. Is there room in what you call love to make that happen?

A Call for a Choice

Contrary to the popular myth that feelings “just are,” Paul implies that you can choose what you feel and when – at least in a supportive or responsive kind of way. And he calls you to make the choice to enter in to the emotional worlds of others.

Don’t preach to their feelings. Don’t advise or scold or defend their feelings. Feel them. By choice.

I also appreciate the hint here that we don’t have to be great discerners in order to do this. When it comes to rejoicing and weeping, I don’t have to scratch my head and try and figure out what’s going on in somebody else’s emotional world.

But hey, check this out: if we can identify some of the other feelings in between, what say we try some of them on, too? We can laugh with those who laugh. Love with those who love. Be (righteously) angry with those who are angry. Be reflective with those who are reflective.

The Right to Influence

This idea doesn’t take place in a vacuum. There’s a reason we rejoice with the rejoicers, and weep with the weepers. By entering into their joy, we validate them and multiply the joy. By entering into their pain, we also validate them as people, and ease the sorrow.

In either case, by validating them, we gain rapport with them. We earn the right to speak truth into their lives. We earn the right to preach the gospel to them if they don’t know Christ. We earn the right, if they do follow Christ, to ask them to enter into our joy and pain when we need it. In short, we earn the right to lead them and influence them.

A Warning

Guess who always makes sure that there is someone available to weep with the weepers and rejoice with the rejoicers? It’s Satan.

There is an implied warning in this verse: if we don’t, somebody else will. Okay so you have a drama queen for a teenage daughter. Either you enter her drama, or somebody else will. So your three-year-old is a whiney-butt who keeps interrupting you with his silly complaints. If he can’t bring you his preschool pain, what gives you the right to expect him to bring you his teenage pain?

It would stagger you to know how many broken lives and relationships were greased on the skids of Christians who didn’t give a damn. Or give a smile. Or give a tear. They were too consumed with their own crap or their own convictions or opinions (raise your hand if I lost you at “damn”). Enter the cult leader. The preying boyfriend. The buddies at the bar.

There will always be somebody ready to rejoice with the rejoicers and weep with the weepers. Why not you? Who knows? If you make this a lifestyle, you may just single-handedly turn hell into a non-profit organization.

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Come Stand by the Fire

Andy Wood — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 06:52:29 +0000

As long as people have searched for direction, worshipped their Creator, and looked for language to express their passion and warmth, we have returned again and again to stand by the fire.

The fire was an agent of God’s guidance and an ongoing expression of worship in the days of the tabernacle. And we kept returning to stand by the fire.

A refiner and cleansing agent of the hearts of men, the fire was a symbol of God’s hatred for sin and an affirmation for the prophets who spoke His truth. And again and again, we kept returning to stand by the fire.

The fire was a weapon of God’s voice, a light in the darkness, and an expression of hospitality and welcome. And from the dark places and lonely spaces, still we kept coming to stand by the fire.

The fire revealed a passion for God’s word in our bones, the baptism of the believer, the instrument of God’s testing, and the piercing gaze of the risen Christ. And out of desperation or terror, love or longing, still we kept coming to stand by the fire.

And even today the Spirit and Bride invite you to come. To be warmed and convicted and cleansed and restored and pure as you stand by the fire.

Come stand by the fire, and feel the sweet warmth of His presence and love as you call on His name. Good-bye isolation! No more shame and wandering. Let go of and run from the dark lie of loneliness – face and embrace the bright truth that wherever you are, there He is.

Come stand by the fire, and enjoy the delight of the simple things in life again – the warmth, and the wood, and the air that converge to make life-changing energy. The crackle of mystery, nature’s first symphony, beckons you back from a world of complexity. Be still. Breathe. Know He is God.

Come stand by the fire, and experience again the passion that flows from a heart’s first love. Let your heart come alive with a blazing and jealous desire many waters can’t quench. Turn away from the blasphemy of apathy and feel again, feel again, feel again what it’s like for your soul to be swept away.

Come stand by the fire, and dare to reveal your lost places to those who can help. Don’t run when they ask you to come a bit closer so they can see clearer just who you are. Just remember they’re gazing through fire that’s blazing away your transgressions and revealing those blind spots that all of us have.

Come stand by the fire, and send a loud signal to all who are lost and who need to be found – that this is the truth they are desperate for. “Light of the world” – that’s what Jesus declared you to be – you’re a city that’s set on a hill. And just as the lighthouse both serves as a warning and beacon of hope to the ships in the night, so you are the voice to the lost and the rudderless, pointing with boldness that Jesus is light.

Come stand by the fire, and rest in the safety that comes from His watch against the wolves in the dark. He is the door to the sheep who are helpless (and that’s you, just in case you’ve forgotten your need). Rest in his care for you. Trust in his love for you. Angels are guarding you. He’s the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the peace and protection of all who are His.

Come stand by the fire and receive the direction that calls to you in the dark nights of the soul. Sometimes the limits of faith will be tested. Sometimes the light will seem distant and flickering – just keep on following light you’ve been given. He’s faithful to know you, so faithful to lead you, so faithful to see you, so faithful to feed you. So follow the light and make darkness the liar – receive and believe and come stand by the fire.

Come stand by the fire, and follow the pull of the spellbinding gravity inside the flame. Just as we find ourselves lost in the wonder of watching the embers and coals in their burning, we also are yearning to witness His working and worship and fascinate – celebrate, fascinate – celebrate. Working and worship and fascinate – celebrate, fascinate – celebrate.

Come stand by the fire, and embrace the sweet fellowship, love and support of the friends of the flame. Though broken in places, we all know what grace is. And our declaration of faith isn’t based on self-righteousness, self-love or self-anything. We stand side-by-side because once we had Fallen and Jesus – Redeemer – descended as low as it took to lift all us out of the pit. And now with a heart set ablaze by His tenderness, we’re reaching out in His name to the weary, the broken, the hopeful, the wandering – Come from the darkness, get free from the danger, be still in His love –

Come stand by the fire.

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Passing Shadows

Andy Wood — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 07:33:53 +0000

Lord, what are mortals, that you notice them;

mere mortals, that you pay attention to us?

We are like a puff of wind;

our days are like a passing shadow (Psalm 144:3-4).

As this shadow passes across another year, what’s obvious on the playground becomes clearer in life: the further away from that initial push, the shorter the passes are.

So…

You can pretend the shadow doesn’t exist…

Search for temporary, artificial pushes…

Surrender to futility and fatality.

Or…

You can embrace the shadow with childlike wonder…

Knowing that all shadows – including this life – are silhouettes of something real.

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Making a Difference in the Life of a Child

Andy Wood — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:18:31 +0000

Cohen and Me on a Trash Run

It’s a familiar old friend, comfortable as a favorite pair of shoes. Brokenhearted parents cling to it, and eager young parents rise to it. It’s a friendly reminder to us all that there’s a higher purpose in the midst of our most frustrating and confusing days. And yet it can say so much more to us than we ever dreamed possible:

“Train up a child in the way he should go,

And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

We all know what that means, right? It means when you have children, if you get them involved in church, discipline them properly, and teach them how to behave, then when they become adults, they will live consistently with the things you tried to teach them. If you teach them to have high moral values as children, they will have high moral values as adults.

Right?

Wait a minute. How do you respond to the mom or dad who doesn’t understand why their adult children don’t go to church like they do? What do you say to the parent whose children have rebelled against their high moral standards and have rejected their values?

I’m convinced that many of us have missed some exciting possibilities because of the limited way we have interpreted this verse.

A Child

For starters, who says this verse is limited to your own children? It doesn’t say, “Train up your child,” but “Train up a child…”

Some of the most significant training you do may well be with a kid who goes home with somebody else. In a world that’s desperate for mentors, father figures, and real life coaches, your greatest influence may well come after your own children are grown.

Picture this. I’m sitting in my office doing important adult work. Suddenly, I hear the sound of little feet – lots of ‘em – coming down the hall. As a mom takes care of business, I have a chance to help train up a child in the way he should go. I can be for those little children a two-minute commercial for the love of God! I can show them that Jesus still loves the little children of the world – that they are precious in His sight. I can let them know in some small way that they are more important than the endless details of my adult world. And these aren’t even my kids! I can’t spend as much time with them as their parents and their television, but I can still touch their lives. So can you.

Train

Who says training refers just to teaching values and giving discipline? There’s a big difference between teaching and training. Teaching imparts concepts. Training imparts skills. Teaching is, well, taught. Training is caught. You only teach during certain limited times. You’re training all the time. Teaching provides important information. Training provides an environment to use that information.

Sometimes that means giving kids an environment where they can get it wrong until they get it right. Like the time Carrie, my daughter, was teaching a group of 2-and-3-year-olds about putting on the whole armor of God, using sound effects and motions.

First, the Belt of truth (click click).

Then, the Breastplate of rightousness (whoom!)

What comes next? The boots of readiness!

Then the Shield of faith (swish)…

The Helmet of salvation (whoosh)…

And the Sword of the Spirit (zing).

So one night she was going through the armor of God with them…

First, the Belt of truth (click click).

Then, the Breastplate of righteousness (whoom!)

And what comes next?

That’s when little “John” hollers – “The boobs! The boobs!”

Training, friends. Let ‘em get wrong until they get it right. And try not to laugh too hard when they do.

Up

There’s a difference between training down and training up. When you train down, you’re raising children. When you train up, you’re raising adults. I’m trying to avoid a soapbox here (no, really!), but one of the challenges with being a “helicopter parent” is that it produces overgrown children, not confident, competent adults.

Training down talks to children as if they’re babies or idiots. The assumption is that children constantly need entertaining. It leaves them dependent on others for what to think, with the expectation that the child must be the center of attention or popular. When you train down, the child always needs someone to make choices for them or (worse) to fix their bad choices. The focus is on instant gratification because children never understand the concept of waiting. And love is a need or a feeling.

Training up produces a completely different kind of human – an adult. Training up talks to children as if they are people – adults-in-the-making. It teaches children to entertain themselves and think for themselves. When you train up, children learn to work with others or stand alone. They learn to choose for themselves and accept responsibility for their choices. They learn to focus on long-term vision and develop patience. And love is a choice and an action – not just a feeling.

The Way

Who says you wait until your children are born before you start training up your child in the way he should go? You’ve seen it happen – suddenly the new mom and dad decide they need to “start back in church” and have little Junior dedicated so they can “train him up in the way he should go.” My question is, if they haven’t created a godly environment before Junior was born, where do they get the audacity to assume they can show him how to live now?

“The way” literally means “according to his individual bent.” The focus is on his or her unique way – which means, parents, that if your goal is to raise all your kids alike, you’re going to swing and miss. Yes, a lot of what we teach – kindness, love, fairness – applies to every child or adult. But there comes a time when in each of the children we touch, we recognize that each one is uniquely gifted and called by God. And they have their own unique ways of showing it.

Like the time “Danny” was sitting with a group of kids and volunteers at church getting ready to hear a Bible story. He was sitting next to one of our adult volunteers, and proceeded to get up and start walking out of the room.

“Where are you going?” the leader wanted to know.

Danny pointed to the volunteer and said, “His breath stinks.”

A prophet in the making? Who knows?

And When He is Old…

The biggest challenge in working with children is that it’s long-term fruit, and you don’t often get to see the consequences of your effort. So you’d better get your encouragement from somewhere other than immediate feedback. [1 Cor. 15:58]

Just think what potential you have! One whole hour on a Sunday or Wednesday to train up a child in the way he should go. All day in a classroom or five minutes standing in a line somewhere to model patience or express unconditional love.

Just remember that whether you are training up your own children or being one of God’s short-term influences on them, your influence is an outgrowth of who you are. When you spend time with God daily, you are training up a child. When you avoid temptation, you are training up a child. When you share your faith or serve a fellow believer – even a Christian adult – you are training up a child.

Those children in your life – whether your own or somebody else’s – may not remember your profound teachings. But they will always carry the image of the life of God as you expressed it.

“And when he is old…”

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Give the Lonely a Reason to Believe

Andy Wood — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 06:18:32 +0000

I will give the lonely a reason to believe in companionship again.

And in so doing, I will banish loneliness from my own heart forever.

-from The Encourager’s Creed

Somewhere near you is an Eeyore in Tigger’s clothing. They’re bouncy, flouncy, trouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun on the outside. But on the inside they’re desperately alone and resigned to eating thistles. And you can make a difference.

There is somebody not far away who is adored for all they do and have to offer. They have no shortage of attention, compliments, and outright praise. Yet for all the attention and admiration they receive, they are profoundly lonely. Why? Because while many people are amazed by them, nobody seems to understand them. But you can.

It’s the chameleon of the emotional world. It blends seamlessly into any environment, and play-acts with the best of the cons. It can empower anybody to be hysterically funny in order to disguise the depression and isolation. It can offer wisdom or encouragement or insight to anybody else, but receives precious little in return. It can mimic the language of the spiritual, with talk of solitude and prayer and hearing God – yet all the while it disguises a relational wasteland. But you can (and should) break through all that.

Loneliness. Ever since Eve and her husband were evicted from their first home, something in us has ached with a longing for companionship and deep connection. We want to know we are searched (understood) thoroughly, known intimately, and loved unconditionally. We look for it in a lot of places – in marriage, in sexual encounters, in church world, in friendships, and in popularity, just to name a few. But despite the finest of intentions, no one human on the planet can fill the tank left empty in the wake of our Fall from God. And that’s violently discouraging. But you can help.

Like a small leak that sinks a big ship over time, loneliness can go undetected for long periods. All the while, the lower decks of our emotional world are taking on more than we were meant to handle. And they fill our minds with words like “nobody,” “worthless,” and “alone.” But you can be the reason the lonely choose to believe again. To reach up and out again. To connect again.

If you’re tempted to write this off as a dispatch to the really gifted people or an idea for somebody else’s job description, think again. Encouragement is everybody’s opportunity and everybody’s job. You may not be the answer to everybody’s loneliness, but you are the answer to somebody’s. The words “one another” fly off the pages of the Bible too often to be aimed at specialists or professionals. You qualify.

Walk through the stories of Christ’s appearances after His resurrection. In one, he sends Mary back with a message for the disciples – “Meet me in Galilee.” To a group of people on the way to Emmaus, He shows up as a traveling companion. To the disciples He cooks fish for breakfast after they’ve fished all night and caught nothing. I find it interesting that before He ever sent them on a mission, He showed up to confront the loneliness inherent in their sorrow. Now He sends us to do the same. Here are some ways to get started:

1. Initiate contact.

If loneliness made people logical, then when they felt lonely, they would pick up the phone, write the email, or knock on the door. But loneliness can make people stupid. Or at least push them further into a cave of their own making. If you want to make somebody believe in companionship again, you need to be the one initiating the companionship. Establish a connection with them. Call them out. Don’t take no for an answer. One day it may be you on the receiving end of that.

2. Listen to understand.

The greatest need of a lonely person is to feel understood on a deep level. And they’ll never believe you understand them if you never give them a chance to tell their story. Listen. Long. Hard. Focused. Not to formulate your sage answers. Not to think of a clever reply. Not to identify which Bible verse to give them. Listen to enter into their world on a soul level… how they think, how they feel, what they want. It doesn’t matter if you approve or not. What matters is whether they feel safe enough to let you enter their world, and they’ll never do it if you don’t shut up and listen. There’ll be time to talk later.

3. Lengthen your time horizon.

You’re probably more bound to a do-it-now culture than you care to admit. Most of us want to approach somebody else’s problem like we approach a vending machine. Let’s find a few bottled words of advice or canned feelgood, apply generously, and fix the problem. But if you want to truly make the lonely believe in companionship again, you must first be a companion. And companionship is a marathon, not a 15-minute segment with Doctor You. Loneliness doesn’t show up overnight, and it won’t go away overnight.

4. Widen your schedule.

Yeah, I know life gets busy. I know you hate interruptions. I know that all those text messages and emails you get are vitally important, and you have stuff to do. But if while you’re saying, “I’m here for you, Buddy,” your nonverbal communication is saying, “I don’t have time,” then the message you are sending is, “My body is here but my heart and head are somewhere else.” Be interruptible. Be willing to make time for somebody else in need.

5. Acknowledge your limitations.

Please don’t miss what I said earlier. No one human on the planet can fill the tank left empty in the wake of our Fall from God. Your love for the lonely will want to prove me wrong. You’ll be tempted to try to fix it. Hear me: You can’t be God for them. You can offer His love, extend His grace, demonstrate His power, and display His life. But you can’t fill the hole in somebody else’s heart. That’s His job. Your job is to give new courage to someone to reach out in faith to Him. And for the lonely, the way to do that is to show them that there really is a love that will not let them go – and you have it.

+++++++

In all of this, you have yet to (necessarily) say the first word. Just listen. Just be there. The strange irony in dealing with loneliness – yours or somebody else’s – is that words are always optional. Well-chosen, they’re nice. But sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all – just demonstrate again and again… “I am here for you.”

Time and eternity await the verdict of how many people were just about to quit until they connected with you. Who knows how many lives you can touch, just by showing up and staying? Just by being there. Please… give the lonely a reason to believe in companionship again. When you do, you truly will banish loneliness from your own heart… forever.

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How Comfortable Are You With Grace?

Andy Wood — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 17:59:02 +0000

I can’t get this picture out of my head. It’s from Stuff Christians Like, by Jonathan Acuff. Jon describes a scene that took place at the ice cream bar at Chuck E. Cheese when he was in the second grade.

I remember when I was in the second grade watching a fifth grader fall apart at the ice cream bar. The problem he faced was that the hot dog bar was right next to it. While was waiting in line I watched him take a big bowl of pristine white soft serve vanilla ice cream and approach the first condiment dispenser. He pressed down hard and out came a serving of mustard.

It was all over his ice cream and he looked down at it with complete and utter devastation. I felt bad for him but out of nowhere a Chuck E. Cheese employee jumped in and said, “Here, that’s okay. Here’s a new bowl of ice cream. That’s okay. Here you go; have some new ice cream.”

I’ll never forget that little boy’s face as he looked up at the employee and down at his ruined bowl of ice cream. He was so ashamed at what he had done, so embarrassed that he had put mustard on it that he paused and then told the employee, “I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.” And then he started to stir the mustard into the ice cream.

He tried as hard as he could to mix that bright yellow mustard into the bright white vanilla ice cream. Finally it all became this pale emo-yellow-colored mush. He looked back up and then returned to his table, presumably to choke down his mustard ice cream.

What the kid didn’t understand was that when someone purchased his trip to the ice cream bar, they were giving him unlimited access to the ice cream maker. But in his mind and world, “the ice cream is free, but the rest is up to me.”

Reminds me of me. And many Christians I know. We get our “bowl” of whatever was purchased for us at one point in time (read “the cross of Jesus” here), then as quickly as we can, we turn it into a do-it-yourself project. We return to the world of I’m-In-Control. And in that world we reveal a sad little truth:

We’re still not all that comfortable with free gifts.

Don’t believe me? Let me ask you this: When you got up this morning and thought about the day ahead, was it from the position of a receiver or a doer? Did you look at it from the perspective of a job to be done, or a grace to be received?

The last time you received a wonderful blessing from the Lord, did you put that away nicely on a shelf, and resume your “regularly scheduled activities?” Or did you say, “Lord, here’s another area I desperately need your grace for?”

The last time you failed badly and received the Lord’s forgiveness, did you live like you had received a completely new start, or like one who still had to choke down the mess you had made?

Two Quick Biblical Illustrations

Scene one: Peter and the gang, lost and tossed in the storm, scared of that water-walking ghost until they realize it’s Jesus. Peter says, “Lord, if it’s you, call me out of this boat.” Next thing you know, Peter receives the grace to do what Jesus was doing – walking on water. But then the instinct takes over: “I’ve gotta figure out how to keep doing this.” And down he goes, until he recognizes his helpless situation and cries out for grace again.

Scene two: Martha and Mary. Mary’s sitting in a position to receive from Jesus-the-giver. Martha’s sulking as she scurries about in the kitchen in her frantic effort to impress Jesus-the-guest. But later, Martha the grieving faces a situation that only grace can account for – the death and resurrection of her brother. She has to trust Jesus then. She also could have trusted (and enjoyed!) the heart and grace of Jesus just as much in the kitchen. But she was too busy blaming Mary for putting mustard on her ice cream.

To a group of really intelligent believers, Paul writes these stunningly simple words: “As you have received the Lord, so walk in Him” (Colossians 2:6).

I received the Lord when I trusted that He could do what I couldn’t – save me from me. Walking in grace means that on this day, I look at my needs and myself and recognize that I still can’t save myself, and that I need His favor, strength, and forgiveness – even if today’s task is grading papers or communicating truth and grace to somebody else.

Why do we make that such a complicated thing? Why do we come up out of the water, dry off, and start rowing again when the Wave Dancer and Wind Maker can fill our sails and power us forward?

Why do we send the funeral guests away, still awash in the miracle that’s the grace of Jesus, then return to the world of running things from the kitchen?

Or like Jon’s fifth-grader example, why do we assume that if we stir the mustard a little harder into the ice cream we can pretend that it really isn’t in there, but we still have to eat it?

How About a New Bowl?

I wonder what it would look like if you walked into today’s “kitchen” or “boat” or “bowl” situation with a different perspective. What if you really believed that the same amazing gift that governs the complexities of life, death and eternity could actually offer you something – freely – for your job search? Or your addicted son? Or your annoying conflict with somebody at work? Or your homework? Or your desperate need for a vacation?

This morning I read this verse:

And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church (Ephesians 1:22).

Two on-the-edge truths in one verse. First, God has put all things in subjection under the authority of Jesus. Every situation, every adversary, every ambition, you! Whatever appears before you today may not be the will of Jesus, but it’s legally under His authority.

Second, God gave Jesus as head over all things as a gift to the church. Thank about that.

So the church is facing a financial crisis? God says, “Here’s the Head Over All Things as your solution.”

The church is facing a crisis in leadership? “Here’s the Head Over All Things as your gift.”

The church has internal conflict? “I have a gift for you. The Head Over All Things.”

The church is weak and powerless? “Surprise! Here’s a gift. I think you’re gonna like it!”

The church just blobbed mustard (again!) over its ice cream? “Here’s a new bowl! Served up fresh from the Head of All Things.”

We have His name! We have His authority! We have His power. And it’s all freely given, totally purchased, and new every morning.

How would you live today if you knew, without question, that the Head of All Things was freely and completely given to you today as a gift of grace?

Would you really go back to whatever it was you were trying so hard to accomplish?

Would you really go back to whatever technique you were leaning on to be relevant or to solve that problem?

Would you really go back to the want ads and whining, “That’s nice, but I need a job?”

Or maybe, just maybe, would you ask for an Instruction Manual for how to unwrap and unleash this amazing gift?

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The Memory of the Heart

Andy Wood — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 17:44:31 +0000

How do you want to be remembered?

By what you did? What you said? Who and how you loved? What you accomplished or overcame?

That may or may not happen.

I was chatting with someone yesterday about the idea of legacy – one of those Five Laws of LifeVesting. He asked me to clarify what I meant and how people leave legacies after their time on earth is done. I said that legacy has two parts – the intentional and the unplanned.

There are some things I want to be remembered for, and I take action to make those memories while I still have a chance by investing my life in things that will live on after me. This is why people give money, write things, do art or music, or make memories with people, just to name a few.

But your legacy has a life of its own, and you’re making memories all the time, whether you realize it or not. Some of those are pretty routine. Some are painful. Some are glorious, and you don’t even know it.

Two days ago I got an email from Gotta-Love-Google-Land. It came from somebody I knew in my very first church staff position, 33 years ago. The message, framed with “thank you,” contained some profound memories. What was interesting, though, was what all those memories had in common.

The all had something to do with how I had helped this person feel.

And that’s what people will remember most and longest about you. It’s not so much about what you said or did or didn’t do. It’s about how they felt about what you said or did or didn’t do.

The heart has memories that are often sealed away like gold in a vault. Have you ever rediscovered someone you had forgotten about (in your head) and been hit with a flood of feelings-laced memories? Vivid details often returned, bathed in laughter, jealousy, pain, love or fear that seems as strong today as when you first lived it.

There’s this guy I knew in third grade – third grade! – who was something of a rival. I haven’t talked to him since then, but whenever I do remember him, those feelings of rivalry help replay vivid scenes on the kickball field. I also remember Mrs. Smith, my third-grade teacher, and how cherished she made me feel that same year (1966 if you must know).

A Two-Edged Sword

The memory of the heart is a two-edged sword. You remember the people who made you laugh or feel loved or comforted. You also remember the people who made you cry or feel shamed or rejected. And sometimes it’s the same face in all the scenes.

That’s why forgiveness is so critical to healing and growth – both forgiving others and forgiving yourself. Just because your heart has the memory doesn’t mean you have to be a slave to re-living pain, rejection, shame, or humiliation. When Jesus said He came to heal the brokenhearted, whatever else that means, it includes the memories of your heart in pain – often from years ago. His grace and healing power can enable you to look at a past experience as simply that – a past experience, now covered in the grace and healing that forgiveness brings.

But like hidden treasure, the memory of the heart also keeps vivid reminders of people and experiences that nurtured us, healed us, helped us, or held us close for a while. My wife routinely talks about “hearing Peggy Cherry” – a second mother-type who passed away years ago. She can still “hear” her voice (and advice!) as Peggy’s legacy and influence live on.

It’s the memory of the heart.

Making Deposits in Someone Else’s Vault

Today and for the rest of your life, you will be making deposits in the vaults of others as you create memories in their hearts. You can make them feel stupid, useless, annoying, or unwanted, whether you intend to or not.

Or you can decide to invest in making them feel loved. Important. Interesting. Valued. Fun or funny. Smart or pretty. Talented or gifted. Spiritually strong, or a host of other possibilities. The choice is yours.

Rewind to yesterday. I had an important meeting, preceded by a 45-minute drive. I was anxious to get there and (surprise) running on the edge of late. I was staying at my daughter’s house, and my three-year-old granddaughter wanted to play hide and seek while I was gathering up all my stuff to hit the road.

What to do?

I decided to be 15 minutes early instead of 30 minutes early. And for 15 minutes I made some pretty fun deposits in her emotional vault.

Her mind will soon forget how we got a little crazy when Papa came to visit. But there in her heart (I pray for a lifetime) she will remember that she was worth searching for… especially when she was hiding and hoping to be found.

With all that I’ve done wrong, maybe yesterday – at least for 15 minutes – I got something right.

Make a deposit today in someone else’s emotional vault. The memory you plant in the heart will live on long after you’re gone.

And while you’re at it, maybe this would be a good time to open your own vault and say thank-you to some people who left a treasure there. Or if they’re no longer living, say thank-you to God for the legacy they left for you.

I’m sure He’ll be glad to relay the message.

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How to Set Your Heart on Fire

Andy Wood — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 14:54:20 +0000

Grab a pen and a legal pad. You’ve got some writing to do, and you get one chance to get this right. Soon your number’s going to be called, and there’ll be no more letters, no more encouraging, no more leading…

…no more living.

Everything you have worked for on this side of eternity is hanging in the balance. And the guy you’ve picked as your successor – your standard bearer?

He’s AWOL.

Some people, when they burn out, act out. This guy burned out, and hid out.

And you have one chance to light a fire under him before somebody, well, lights a fire under you, so to speak. What would you say? How would you say it? Is this a time for force or finesse? Rah-rah or sob-sob?

That’s exactly the situation that the Apostle Paul found himself in just before his execution. And his person of interest? A gifted associate named Timothy. I don’t know what you would write in a situation like that, but the New Testament book of 2 Timothy is Paul’s answer.

Somehow over the course of banging out the day-to-day grind of ministry, Timothy had reached his limits. He was fried. We don’t know the circumstances. What we do know is that in his fatigue and loneliness (common companions to this day in ministry), he had retreated. Robbed of his confidence in God, hindered in his relationships with people, paralyzed in the face of responsibility, Timothy was lost somewhere – frozen in a fear-lined cave of his own making.

Here’s what Paul said early in his letter:

You received a gift from God when I placed my hands on you to ordain you. Now I’m reminding you to fan that gift into flames. God didn’t give us a cowardly spirit but a spirit of power, love, and good judgment. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord or be ashamed of me, his prisoner. Instead, by God’s power, join me in suffering for the sake of the Good News (2 Timothy 1:6-9, GW).

Somewhere in Timothy’s heart – at the intersection of his faith, his fear, his deepest longings, and most selfish cravings – his mentor and friend was calling him to fan into flames something that had been reduced to embers. Can you relate? I sure can.

Dissecting the Problem

If you are retreating from your faith toward fear, or from your deepest dreams toward selfish desires, then like Timothy, at least one of four things is true of you:

1. You have a power problem. You are living as if the object of you fears is more powerful than you are. For a Christian that has serious implications, because you have the Spirit of the living God in your heart!

2. You have a love problem. Fear is a protective emotion. Love, on the other hand, is a choice to give totally and unselfishly of yourself, just as Jesus did for you. But when you have a spirit of fear, you are more concerned with protecting yourself than with giving of yourself. The result is that you build walls and barriers between yourself and other people.

3. You have a thinking/discipline problem. The word here, translated either “self-control” or “sound thinking,” means self-control in your thought life. It means clarity – keeping your thoughts focused on the truth and on your calling and destiny (in other words, your deepest desires). Have you ever noticed how many of our fears or selfish desires are rooted in falsehood?

4. You have a shame problem. Interesting poke Paul gives his friend after his first charge to fan the flame in his heart. “Don’t be ashamed of Jesus, or me,” he said. You think he may have been getting at the root of something in Tim’s heart? I do. Shame is a feeling of worthlessness that is caused by rejection, or a fear (there’s that word again) of rejection.

So What’s the Solution?

Power is the answer to any fear. Love is the answer to a selfish craving. Clear thinking and discipline are the answer to your deepest longings. Acceptance of God’s truth is the key that unlocks faith. And all of that is available through the gift of the Holy Spirit, given to every believer. The question is, how do we fan that gift into flames when our hearts are cold and tired, lonely and afraid?

Why don’t we ask the one whose heart was still powerfully aflame, even as he faced execution?

1. Pray.

I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day when I thank God… (2 Timothy 1:3).

Paul practiced prayer without ceasing. So can you. Powerful lives and courageous hearts are the result of steadfast praying. Don’t leave home without it.

2. Get a clear conscience.

…whom I serve with a clear conscience as my ancestors did… (v. 3).

Nothing withers the heart of a believer like unconfessed sin and guilt. But God has made it possible for your conscience to be clean continually by dealing clearly with our sins and failures. The word for that is confession.

3. Get in fellowship with others.

I remember your tears and want to see you so that I can be filled with happiness (v. 4).

Even prison didn’t prevent Paul from pursuing deep, connected relationships. That’s because he understood that isolation is for idiots. If you’re hiding out from others, you’re already the devil’s fool, whether you know it or not.

4. Encourage other people.

I’m reminded of how sincere your faith is (v. 5).

Hey man, you’re the real deal. That’s what Paul was saying, and he wasn’t just saying it for Tim’s benefit. Paul understood that encouraging others brings encouragement back to us in the process. Want to energize your faith? Grab somebody else’s hopelessness by the throat. You’ll be amazed at the Spirit-life that begins flowing through you.

5. Exercise your gifts – take action!

… fan that gift into flames (v. 6).

Paul could have withered away in his prison cell. After all, he was a dead man walking. But he kept fanning the flame in his own heart so he could fan the flame in others. So can you. Get up. Refuse to accept the false testimony of your limitations or your setbacks. Act!

6. Get in the word of God.

I was appointed to be a messenger of this Good News, an apostle, and a teacher (v. 11).

One of the keys to Paul’s power was his ongoing connection to the message of the gospel. He was a student, a teacher, and a communicator of God’s truth. Think of God’s word as your own personal flame thrower. It’s the sword of the Spirit. But before you ever swing the sword in battle, first let it penetrate your own soul and spirit.

7. Verbalize your confidence in God.

For this reason I suffer as I do. However, I’m not ashamed. I know whom I trust. I’m convinced that he is able to protect what he had entrusted to me until that day (v. 12).

I wonder how many times a day Paul repeated something like that to himself. We should, too. Say it. Keep saying it.

“I’m not ashamed. I know whom I trust. And He is able.”

Again…

“I’m not ashamed. I know whom I trust. And He is able.”

Little bit louder now…

“I’m not ashamed. I know whom I trust. And He is able.”

Something about saying it (out loud) reminds the heart of the truth – that God is able, powerful, loving, and clear.

Everybody deals with fear, unbelief, confusion, and selfish desires. Welcome to the planet. But they don’t have to make fools of us. What have you done today – or what will you do – to fan your gift into flame?

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So What are YOU Worth?

Andy Wood — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 07:16:29 +0000

Years ago a group of scientists determined that the minerals and chemicals within our bodies were worth about $.99. Factor in inflation, and that’s probably somewhere around $3.50 or so today.

Viewed in another way, however, somebody estimated that the energy production of the human body, based upon the number of atoms within a 150-pound person, could generate enough atomic energy to be valued at $85 billion.

A hundred and fifty pounds, huh? That would make me worth, hmmm… well, never mind.

The lesson here? Don’t let a scientist try to figure out how much you’re worth!

While you’re at it, don’t build your value on what anybody else tells you.

Not the guys and dolls in Coolvillle.

Not your teachers, important as they are (remember the infamous fourth-grade teacher who send Thomas Edison home, saying he was too stupid to learn?).

Not even the people who love you most, and here’s why: The more you are loved by somebody, the more you tend to expect unconditional approval from them. When they do express frustration or disapproval, it weighs a whole lot more on your heart. I once met a 56-year-old woman who said, “Andy, just once I wish I could hear my [78-year-old] mother say I’d done something right.”

So where do you look to find your value? Here’s a suggestion: Try God!

Yeah, I know, I’m supposed to say that. But think about it. How much does God say you’re worth?

You’re worth His setting you completely free from the condemnation of your guilty past.
You’re worth His breaking the chains of sin and death.
You’re worth His sending His own Son in the likeness of your sinful flesh as an offering for your sin.
You’re worth His not sparing His only Son, but willingly giving Him up for you.
You’re worth His overpowering the wages of sin so that you could live in righteousness and power.
You’re worth His giving you a spirit of adoption and making you His forever child.
You’re worth His giving you a pet name – Abba – by which to call Him.
You’re worth His making you his heir, and fellow heir with Christ.
You’re worth His offer of a promised future of eternal glory, reserved in heaven for you.
You’re worth His searching you out, knowing you, and pursuing you as the object of His most tender affection.
You’re worth His intimate understanding of the yearning of your heart, and His ability to translate that somehow into a prayer.
You’re worth His relentless pursuit of that which is good, acceptable, and perfect in your life.
You’re worth His establishing a clearly-defined purpose for your life and seeing to it that His purpose is fulfilled.
You’re worth His willingness to share his beauty and glory with you.
You’re worth the joy He has in freely giving you all things.
You’re worth His powerful hand, gripping the throat of any who would accuse, condemn, or discourage you.
You are worth the investment He has made to protect you with spiritual armor, a shield of faith, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
You’re worth His continued willingness to call you to an intimate relationship with Himself.

No wonder Paul said, “If God is for us, who can be against us?”

How much does it make you worth that the eternal God has poured out that kind of favor on you?

What else can He do to convince you that your value isn’t determined by your body type, your gender, your performance, or your popularity? Are you sure you want to talk to me about those mean people, or your guilty conscience, or the boo boo economy?

What are you worth?

I guess it depends on who’s buying.

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The Grand Celebration That Wasn’t

Andy Wood — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:57:02 +0000

A Fable about leadership, teamwork, unity, and of course, honey…

It was a lovely morning in the Hundred Acre Wood, where Christopher Robin’s friends lived and played. The bees were abuzz making their honey (and You-Know-Who knew just who it was for).

Kanga had already gotten an early start on motherly things, while Roo was playing close by.

Piglet was pacing about his tidy home saying “Oh Dear, Dear, Dear” because he knew something Important was about to happen, but he couldn’t quite remember what it was.

Rabbit was tending his garden, nervously glancing around for signs that he soon may be bounced by Tigger.

Eeyore was a bit confused as he chomped on a thistle because he couldn’t think of anything to be gloomy about.

Owl was remembering the time to no one in particular that his great uncle Waldo on his mother’s side did something famous because it happened on a lovely day such as today.

And Winnie the Pooh? Being a Bear of Very Little Brain, he was sitting at the Thotful Spot, thinking. And wishing for just a bit of honey, because as everyone knows, bears think better when their tumblies aren’t so rumbly. And there’s nothing like honey to take the rumbly out of the tumbly.

This was no ordinary day after all. This was the day of the Grand Celebration. They weren’t quite sure what they were celebrating, but everyone had agreed that today would be a fine day to celebrate it.

It all started when restless Roo and playful Tigger were frolicking in the forest and Roo said for no particular reason something like, “We should have a party tomorrow and invite all our friends.”

“Tiggers love parties!” the bouncy cat replied. “We should invite old long ears!”

“We should invite everybody!” Roo exclaimed. “We will call it the Grand Celebration.”

“Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Tiggers love Grand! And the more the merrier,” Tigger exclaimed.

And so it was decided. And the playful pair started to invite their friends.

“Mama!” Roo said. “Tomorrow we’re going to have a Grand Celebration! Will you come?”

“That will be nice, dear,” Kanga said, busy with dinner. “Just be careful and make sure to clean up your mess.”

“Ooooh, Tigger!” Rabbit shouted as he shook the dirt from his face and ears. “Stop bouncing me!”

“Can’t help it, ole’ buddy ole’ pal. We’re having a Grand Celebration tomorrow, and everybody’s invited. And you know, Tiggers love Celebrations. Can ya’ come? Well? Can ya’?”

“If you’ll promise not to sneak up on me and bounce me into tomorrow (sigh), I suppose I can come,” Rabbit replied. Everyone knew that also meant Rabbit’s Friends and Relations.

“Will there be honey?” Pooh asked when Tigger and Roo told him the Delightful News.

“Of course!” Roo said gleefully. “What’s a Celebration without honey? Now Pooh, would you invite Rabbit and Owl?”

“That’s a fine idea,” the chubby cub said as he made off for Piglet’s house in the middle of the beech-tree.

Piglet was sweeping in front of his door and thinking about his grandfather, Trespassers Will, when Pooh walked by, lost in thought.

“Hello, Pooh!” he said. “Where are you going?”

“Oh, hello, Piglet! I’m going to see Owl and… oh… well… there you are. Not Owl, of course. You’re Piglet. But I’m coming to invite you to the Grand Honey Celebration tomorrow.”

“Oh my,” Piglet exclaimed. “I never knew Honey had its own Celebration. I would be most delighted to come.”

“It was my idea,” Pooh said.

“The celebration?” Piglet asked.

“No, the honey, I’m sure.”

“So how are we celebrating?” Piglet wanted to know because Piglets ask questions like that.

“Oh, in the usual way, I suppose,” Pooh replied.

Meanwhile, while all this was going on, Roo and Tigger had caught up with Eeyore, who had just figured out that he would never think of a day of the week that didn’t end in “Y” because, well, they all did, and that was pretty disappointing for some reason.

“Eeyore,” Roo squealed. “Do you want to come to the Grand Celebration tomorrow?”

“Don’t see much reason to celebrate,” Eeyore droned in his low voice. “But thanks for noticin’ me all the same.”

“Come on, Long Face!” Tigger chimed in. “Everybody’s gonna be there.”

“Suppose I will,” Eeyore said. “It’s not like I have anything else to do, which I don’t.”

Owl told his friends Pooh and Piglet much the same thing, but he took a whole lot longer to say it, what with telling stories about other Grand Celebrations he was reminded of so that by the time he was finished nobody remembered for a minute or two why Piglet and Pooh had knocked on Owl’s door in the first place.

And so the Day arrived. Rabbit was wondering what time the festivities were supposed to begin and, of course, in what particular order they were to take place. But no one had bothered to establish a proper starting time. So he and his Friends and Relations stayed busy – or at least looked so.

Piglet was a bit disturbed that no one had mentioned whether Heffalumps or Woozles had been invited and was considering sending his regrets, but wasn’t quite sure whom to regret to.

Roo was getting into some sort of mischief when he was supposed to be cleaning up his room, while Kanga was hanging laundry on the line and planning meals and worrying about her boy’s safety and things.

Eeyore had been looking yet again for a lost tail when he found an especially tasty clump of thistles.

Tigger had forgotten his promise to Rabbit and was bouncing at breakneck speed toward his vegetable garden – the one that had the sign saying, “NO TRESPASING, STEELIG, OR BOUNSING.”

And Winnie the Pooh was just about to explain to Christopher Robin that today was National Honey Day or something like that. Or if not, it should be.

When all was said and done it was a fine day. But there was no Grand Celebration, even though everybody had agreed to have one.

Agreement is one thing. But sometimes agreement isn’t enough. Grand Celebrations call for something more. Something like teamwork and Unity. Grand Celebrations are the result of having:

One spirit – committed to mutual success.

One mind – agreed on the same goals and on the priority of those goals.

One effort – “rowing in the same direction,” toward the same prize.

“Christopher Robin,” said Winnie the Pooh to his Friend.

“Yes, Pooh?”

“Do you suppose that if tomorrow we had a party for the bees, they could bring the refreshments?”

“Silly old bear.”