Bringing Hope to the Land of Nod (Part 3)
1. Reconnect the spiritual with the interpersonal.
2. Expose anger for what it is, and provide a model for forgiveness.
3. Respond to Victimhood by Redefining Responsibility
4. Reopen doors of trust and acceptance.
Every vibrant relationship is a dance with trust. As the relationship deepens, so does the trust. As the trust grows, the relationship deepens even more.
That said, it’s easy to see why the citizens of Nod have an itty bitty trust issue. “Fool me once,” and all that.
Do people trust you? The challenge we face in being instruments of healing is that trust, once broken, is incredibly difficult to restore. Yet without it, hearts remain crippled and closed off.
Our goal for the citizens of Nod is to lead them to do more than survive. We believe God wants them to thrive. For the Nodians, this involves a new capacity for commitment, intimacy, servanthood and acceptance.
As a local community of Christ followers, we believe we’re called to make the first move by demonstrating those qualities to them first. Only telling somebody to forgive and/or trust again after they have lost an intimate relationship is a waste. God has charged us with the responsibility of modeling restoration and commitment for them.
Example: Whenever someone desires to unite with our fellowship, we ask the entire congregation to make a commitment of accountability to that new member to serve them in every role that Jesus called the church to occupy. That includes worship, evangelism, discipleship, missions, teaching God’s word, and edification. The idea is that if we model the commitment first, maybe they will be willing to risk commitment again themselves. (We also “solemnly promise to do all of that imperfectly.” We make no claims to have it all figured out.)
We also think it’s a good idea to “meet people where they are,” but to gently lead them toward a renewed commitment, first to God, then to others. Wounded people often want (and need) time to heal without a lot of demands being placed on them. Fair enough. But there is a difference between healing and vegetating. If we aren’t careful, we can drift into becoming a horde of individuals whose only common bond is that they occupy the same building on Sunday mornings.
We believe the Christian standard calls for more than healing-through-spectating, and somebody has to make the first move. So we consciously, intentionally, and frequently look for ways to connect people into a healing and growing network of believers. Simply put, we’re matchmakers! Like a bee whose efforts bring pollination and life to flowers, we seek to link our people in an increasing variety of ways. Everyone needs time alone; that’s healthy. But we’ve declared war on isolation (cf. Proverbs 18:1).
Servanthood is another challenge we face. In a newer congregation like ours, willing people sometimes arrive ahead of available or identified places of service. That’s why we’ve found it helpful to keep a public “wish list” of potential ministries that, should the right people come along, we can implement those ideas.
We have also made efforts to be a place that honors and supports others in their sense of calling. I am convinced that the people of God can do exploits armed only with vision (which they supply), encouragement (which we supply), and a willingness to see the task through (which God supplies).
We don’t always have the money or other resources to give to every ministry idea that springs forth in our congregation. But we to try to offer all the support we can. If it works, great! If it doesn’t, we promise to help them re-evaluate what God is leading them to do.
Ultimately, what we’re trying to model, and lead others in Nod to experience, is genuine acceptance.
Not approval! Not some codependent abandonment of self-worth or boundaries. Rather:
- Acceptance of a past they cannot change.
- Acceptance of a future that, for believers, is bright with God’s promises.
- Acceptance of a present in which they have options, and the power to exercise them.
- Acceptance of Jesus Christ as their faithful Healer, ever-present Companion, never-failing Friend.
- Acceptance of others as worthy of the love of Christ and their love as well.
- Acceptance of the truth of who they are by virtue of their relationship with Christ.
- Acceptance of themselves as God’s “work of art” (Ephesians 2:10) – perhaps still in production, but destined for a breathtaking unveiling by the Master Artist.
Easy? Of course not. And the job is never done. But to see Larry back in a place of both service and leadership again gives us encouragement. To see Bruce filled with new confidence once he has mourned his losses is an inspiration. To see Jan choose life, and refuse to allow her relational pain to define who she is gives us hope. In the meantime, (and it really is a “mean time”), we anxiously await the day that we hear “Good-bye” or “Get lost!” for the last time.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Acceptance without approval. What a way to say love your neighbor. Every Christian needs a ministry, I tell people “look in the pews” there are ministry opportunities! We are all both ministry and minister, dependent on the day and issue at hand. One must accept in order to minister to, or receive ministry from an other. Once again you have hit a key point, acceptance. Thanks for this, it is a blessing.
will hapemans last blog post..What church should be, not hard, not sin
Thanks, will. You’re right. And the ability to give AND receive ministry is a sign of growing maturity.