Two posts ago I started sharing what we’re learning about being instruments of healing to people in the “Land of Nod” – the realm of the aftermath of broken relationships. It was to this place that Cain went after he had killed his brother and rejected the mercy of God.
To bring hope to the Land of Nod, we must:
1. Reconnect the spiritual with the interpersonal.
You relate to people in the same way you relate to God, and vice-versa. We must be faithful to live that message, and communicate it well to others.
2. Expose anger for what it is, and provide a model for forgiveness.
Anger is always a choice; so is forgiveness. To help the Nodians, we must encourage them to accept responsibility for their anger and guide them toward forgiveness.
The third thing we are learning to do to bring hope back to Nod is:
3. Respond to Victimhood by Redefining Responsibility
Week in and week out, people pass through our doors carrying a past that neither they nor we can change. Sometimes they come to church in an attempt to forget, or pretend their wounds don’t exist. Sometimes they come in search of sympathy or support. Regardless of what prompts them, we do them no favors when we allow them to remain in “victim mode.” The transforming power of the Gospel equips believers with the capacity to respond.
Victimhood says, “Whatever happens to me and whatever I do, I can’t help it.”
Response-ability says, “By the grace of God, I have options.”
Responsibility has three faces. When Cain’s sacrifice was rejected, appropriate responsibility was pretty simple. All he had to do was change his approach to God and to worship. Cain refused. Instead, he killed Abel as if it was Abel’s fault that his own sacrifice was rejected.
Later, when Cain was confronted with that haunting question, “Where is Abel your brother?” he had every opportunity to take the initiative and confess the murder. Again he refused, saying in effect to God, “It’s not my problem.” In an age where people (and often churches) seek to avoid guilt at any cost, it is still appropriate for guilty people to feel guilty. The goal, of course, is not to spread shame and blame, but to lead people to honestly and humbly confront their failures.
Our church is steadfastly committed to being a “grace place,” and we don’t apologize for it. But grace can’t abound until our people accept the responsibility for the ways that their sin abounds, too.
The third face of responsibility happens occasionally when we find ourselves in Abel’s position. Sometimes, through no fault of our own, people wound us. It is here, in particular, that churches and ministries can be an expression of God’s healing and grace. We can do so by moving beyond sympathy to empowerment.
Sympathy and support are important, but they aren’t enough. We empower powerless people as we gently but insistently ask, “What will you do now?” and help them identify options. This is not to minimize the depth of someone else’s pain. We simply emphasize the fact that a healing heart always has choices. And a healthy Christ follower has the responsibility of exercising them.
We can’t do this through preaching alone. A ministry of empowerment takes time, effort, incredible patience, and ongoing relationship. Frankly, at Turning Point we don’t do this as well as we hope to… yet. But through ongoing counseling, the engagement of people in small groups, and a vision for a mentoring/coaching strategy, we are excited about being God’s instruments in giving people new choices.
There is not a believer on the planet who hasn’t somehow been touched with somebody else’s sin and the consequences of their own. Both leave scars and wounds that only Jesus can heal. But here’s the really cool part: He graciously uses us as instruments of that healing. Make no mistake – it’s His work and His power. But when the Body of Christ accepts responsibility – first for our own scars, then for confronting the scars in our faith family – we are used by God to break the cycle that feeds the Land of Nod.
(Next: teaching people to trust again.)
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I rejoice that we are taught, Do not let the sun set on your anger. We are not robots. We feel. we can feel a broad range of emotions, including anger. But to cling to it is a different story. We must let it go.
Lesson for to day ” But grace can’t abound until our people accept the responsibility for the ways that their sin abounds, too.” amen
will hapemans last blog post..What church should be, not hard, not sin