From the monthly archives:

July 2008

Hanukkuh Hams – Ladies’ Room Edition

by Andy Wood on July 17, 2008

in 100 Words

Toilet

Restroom Sign

Here’s what happens when “public servants” invade the local ladies’ room.

Hey, rules are rules…

Somewhere there is a bureaucrat, who takes us all for fools,

And has a bit of brainlessness interpreting the rules.

He thinks that women everywhere would certainly be blessed

To see their neighbor face-to-face when they sit down to “rest.”

This gives new meaning to the phrase we men think sounds so wrong:

“I’m going to the ladies’ room, you want to come along?”

So if Point Loma, California is your local town,

I’d tell them this is something that you won’t take sitting down!

(photo by  kinpatsu, taken inside an Ace Hardware Store in Point Loma, CA)


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River Smith 3Hungry?  A couple of years ago a local institution here decided it was time for a second location.  River Smith’s Chicken and Catfish had been serving up good food since 1976, and built a second restaurant on the south side of Lubbock.

Even though I grew up on the Gulf Coast, seafood isn’t usually on the top of my culinary agenda.  In fact, I can count on one finger the number of times I craved seafood.  So you can imagine my wife’s surprise when I said, on a Friday no less, “Let’s get seafood.”  Then I remembered that River Smith’s had opened their new location, so I suggested we check it out.

I’m sure that wherever you live it’s probably the same way, but when a new restaurant opens in Lubbock, you may as well get ready for a wait.  But it was after 8:00, and I figured maybe the movie crowd would have left by then.

Wrong.  The place was packed.  But we were pretty leisurely, and decided to go ahead and brave it.  At River Smith’s, you order at the counter, and they give you a numbered buzzer that you place on a rack at your table so the server knows where to bring the order.  I should have known there might be a problem when the lady that took the order had run out of buzzers and grabbed one from a different register.  Nevertheless, we took our drinks and buzzer and somehow found a seat to wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Again, we weren’t in a hurry or even frustrated.  But I did catch a server passing by and asked her if she could check on our order.

Impress me #1:
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MemorialOur family keeps an oral tradition of famous lines spoken by somebody.  Today’s edition comes from Joel, when he was about seven or eight:

“Daddy, when you die, can I have all your tapes?”

++++++++++++++++++++++

I want to be like Abel.

Not so much the rock-upside-the-head part.  I’m talking about legacy.

Hebrews 11:4 contains a fascinating description of Abel’s life:  “By faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.”

Here’s a guy who could be famous for the things he never did:

He never preached a sermon.

He never started a church.

He never wrote a book.

He never engaged in an argument to defend the faith.

He never had his name plastered on the side of a building.

He never had a wife or children, much less succeeding generations.

He never was elected to any office.

He never fought for a cause or a nation.

He never was on TV, or interviewed by the press.

He never had God give him a song (all rights reserved, of course).

He never made a YouTube video.

He never made a financial fortune, that we know of.

He never rescued anybody in distress, except maybe for a sheep or two.

 

Yet long-dead, Abel still speaks.  And so can you and I.  It’s what the LifeVesting Principle of Legacy is all about:

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(Rachel Brown and her husband, Pat, are dear friends who live in Atlanta, where Pat is on staff at Buckhead Church.  She’s also the daughter of Michael and June Carter, two of our dearest friends.  Michael is one of our elders at TPCC, and June is our office manager.  Rachel wrote the following beautiful account of an amazing experience she had in worship with her son, Ethan.  I think you’ll be as touched as I was.  Enjoy!  Then check out the song at the bottom.)

Rachel & EthanRight now my spirit is welling up with great joy, gratitude, and praise.  My mother’s heart is proud, humble, and completely blessed by my four year old son, Ethan. Over the past few weeks, I’ve tried to be more intentional with my three precious kids, teaching them about Jesus and how they can be a lover of God and worship him.  Several times this week I’ve resisted the temptation to allow my kids to watch TV in the morning. Instead we decided to turn on our worship music.  We have had a great time jumping around spinning and singing songs.  Honestly, it’s a great break from Bunny Town songs on Disney Channel.  If you have kids you will know what I’m talking about.

We are a family deeply moved by music and have a love for all different genres.  My three precious kids didn’t have a choice to love music! God has created their daddy with the love of music and great musical gifts.

We were deeply moved by “How He Loves,” a song we sang at Buckhead a few Sunday’s ago.  I couldn’t wait to download this song on my IPod and plug it into my ears and just worship.  Pat and I both had eyes welling up with tears and hearts full of unexplainable emotions when we heard this song.  For Pat it was a mixture of emotion; he has not led worship for almost two years, now, and such a great love is deeply missed.  His heart was moved by the love of God; for me, a funny moment with God. I humorously asked God why I have such a heart of worship but such a horrible voice. My humorous prayer is that all the people on earth that can’t sing will be HIS most gifted singers in heaven. If I can’t sing beautifully on earth, I’d better be able to sing in heaven! I think that you get the picture. We love worship!

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The Estate Sale

by Andy Wood on July 11, 2008

in Consumers,Life Currency,LV Alter-egos,Money

Estate SaleI have eye-opening experiences in odd places.  I want to tell you about one that took place a few years ago at a house on 80th Street in Lubbock, a few houses away from where we used to live.  Our former neighbors were having an estate sale, and I have to confess, I’m a sucker.  So I strolled down to take it all in.  The sale was professionally managed, well organized, and quite thorough.  They were selling what appeared to be everything that wasn’t bolted to the walls or floor.

Like most estate sales, this was a trip back in time.  And somewhere amid the 8-track tapes, 70s-era stereo, and the costume jewelry, it happened.  Somewhere in my own mind, I was standing in the middle of my own estate sale.  Watching crowds of strangers pick over my treasures that, over the years, I had spent tens of thousands of dollars on.  Seeing them bargain with somebody over curtains or books or something – for dimes on the dollar, of course.  “Dear God,” I half-exclaimed and half-prayed, “tell me there’s more to my life than old stuff to be bartered over!”

As I continued to wander through the house, I could identify with the fun and excitement of this family as they had purchased that new appliance, received that special Christmas gift, or took advantage of those today-only prices and sales.  In so many ways, this was a typical American family.  Nice house.  Nice stuff, albeit touched by time.  And now all of it was being left behind.

It’s bad etiquette, I suppose, to actually ask about the people whose possessions we’re pilfering through.  Are they still living?  Do they have family?  Could I be standing next to their daughter or niece?  But I couldn’t help but wonder.  As I stood in what once was their home, I felt sure I was looking at a poor reflection of who these people really were.

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RollsTense Truth:  God has established clearly-defined principles of life management that can make me prosper, and my tomorrow better than today.  Yet for his own good purposes, God will allow me to suffer in order to further the gospel, transform my character, and mature my faith. Regardless of the what the circumstances of the moment suggest, God is for me, and will reward faithfulness, to some degree in this life, and to a much greater degree in the next.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mention the word “prosperity” to American Evangelical Christians and you’ll get one of two responses.  The first is a kind of entranced smile – a brightened countenance very similar to the sheer delight we used to see from people at an Amway meeting.

The second is that uncomfortable, “what do you mean by that?” kind of look, suggesting that money is the world’s curse, and that people who have it must be materialistic swine or should somehow apologize or feel guilty.

So which are you?  “Amen?”  Or “Oh me?”  Or maybe, like me, you vacillate from one to the other.

The challenge with all this is that the Bible categorically promises success to people who live according to principles or laws that God has established.  “Everything he does will prosper,” the psalmist said in Psalm 1.  And check out those blessings mentioned by Moses in Deuteronomy.

That said, the Bible also deals with the apparent contradiction of that – the prosperity of the wicked.  Those mirroring psalms – 37 and 73 – both deal with that.  The wicked does have his day, the psalmist concludes, but God has a way of sorting things out in the end, when it matters most.

Meanwhile, in the New Testament, Jesus didn’t promise a life without tribulation.  On the contrary, He said we would have it, despite what people uniquely in America sometimes promise.  Our rewards are presented mostly as heavenly, post-life promises.  But even in places, such as here, there is the declaration that God has obligated Himself to meet all our needs.

So which is it?  Suffering in this age, followed by our eternal treasure in heaven?  Or timeless principles that work in the age to come, but also may be claimed, believed, and acted on here?

Yes.

Does God want you and me to be rich?

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Lone RangerIt’s not enough to be a team player.  To get things done, to be a leader, you’ll have to be a team builder.  Together has great power, and an isolated Christian has a fool for a companion.

A Stanford Business School study bears that out.  Researchers examined the qualities that companies look for in promoting young managers toward senior executive positions. The study concluded that one of the most important qualities required for great success in leadership is the ability to put together a team and function as a good team player. Since all work is ultimately done by teams, and the managers’ output is the output of the team, the ability to select team members, set objectives, delegate responsibility and get the job done, was central to success in management.

That’s bad news for all the Lone Ranger types.  But hey, even he had Tonto!

Together has power in four dimensions:

1.  Synergy.
Synergy is the concept that one plus one equals three.  You can do the work of one, and so can I.  But together, we can do the work of many times more.  That flies in the face of conventional wisdom.  Maybe you can do it better by yourself in the immediate circumstances, but in the long run, it’s always more productive to go together.

You’re probably not going to hear this at church Sunday, so let me go ahead and tell you now:  [click to continue…]

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Prosper

by Andy Wood on July 8, 2008

in Insight,Life Currency,Turning Points

(A Turning Point Story)

About 20 miles east of Denton, Texas a small ridge runs north and south along what people in Dallas know as Preston Road.  Visible from 10 miles away, all along the top and slope of that ridge rest the homes, churches, and schools of Prosper – a community of farmers and commuters to Dallas.  I had the first of what would be many of these picturesque views in September 1981, when I virtually limped there for a job interview.  Little did I know the significance that town would have in my life, family, and ministry to this day.  This is about the roads that led into, out of, and back into an unforgettable town nobody had ever heard of.

Four months earlier, I had loaded up all my earthly belongings in a Hertz rental truck, put my gorgeous Irish Setter puppy, Dixie, in the cab, and left Mississippi for Texas.  I was to start seminary in the fall, and thought I’d get a head start on a job and hopefully a church to serve.  I was so happy, so optimistic, I literally sang my own version of a Swaggert song:

On my way to heaven,

Stoppin’ off by Texas on the way!

I got a sales job representing the prestigious Ft. Worth Chamber of Commerce.  Rented a really nice house.  Was leaving a wonderfully successful youth ministry.  God was good!  Life surely would be good, too.

It didn’t turn out that way.  [click to continue…]

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Dude, Where’s My Phone?

by Andy Wood on July 7, 2008

in 100 Words

Hotline 3Problems are real.

Promises are important.

And the faith that clings to them often fragile.

That’s why it’s a good idea, if you’re offering yourself (or your church or organization) as the solution to somebody’s possibly-desperate problem, to make absolutely certain that somebody is there to answer the phone.

Or that the phone is actually there in the first place.

They may not be thinking about jumping off.

Maybe they just need a tank of gas…

A safe, friendly voice…

Or answers without religious jargon or clichés.

Maybe they just need to know where to find a phone that works.

 

 

 

(Photo – Taken on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge by Throwingbull.  Used by permission.)

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Smells Like Birthday Cake

by Andy Wood on July 4, 2008

in Spoofs

Our buddy Tim Hawkins is back with a new video spoof.  If you haven’t seen Cletus Take the Reel, check it out (it’s still my favorite).

This one’s of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” – only this time it’s at a kids birthday party.  Every parent who’s ever hosted one or every kid who’s ever had one can relate.  (By the way, Cletus fans – look for his cameo appearance.)  Enjoy!

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